As a mother of two, I often find myself grappling with the label of “Mom.” While I adore my children with a love that could make me spend hours just enjoying their presence, I resist the notion of defining my identity solely through motherhood.
I dedicate myself to nurturing my kids, helping them grow into compassionate individuals, yet I still refuse to see myself exclusively as a mom. I am a writer, a professional with a career that fulfills me. I am a person with deep family ties, a love for good bleu cheese, and an unapologetic affection for ’90s R&B. I am not perfect; I make mistakes just like anyone else.
Beyond the realm of parenting, I have dreams and aspirations that extend beyond raising children. While my kids are undeniably a significant part of my life, they do not encompass my entire existence. Acknowledging that children aren’t the focal point of our world can be a difficult admission in today’s society, particularly for women. Unfortunately, the pressure placed on mothers is not mirrored for fathers, who are often encouraged to pursue their own interests and ambitions.
Society seems to expect mothers to embody “Mom” at all times: sacrificing personal comforts for their children, crafting flawless baked goods for school events, and curating picture-perfect birthday parties. If you juggle a career, that doesn’t eliminate the demands of motherhood; you’re still expected to burn the midnight oil to ensure everything is perfect. If you find fulfillment in being a supermom, that’s a commendable choice. However, not every woman wants to be defined by her role as a mother.
Let’s be honest: on social media, the most acceptable updates for mothers often revolve around professional-quality images of their children, paired with heartfelt sentiments and hashtags like #blessed. Any attempt to share something unrelated to motherhood might go unnoticed. We’re rewarded for showcasing our children while sidelined for pursuing our own identities.
Parenting magazines aimed at women overflow with impractical advice and time-consuming projects. In reality, few of us have the luxury to engage with such content. Surprisingly, those parenting magazines can double as coasters.
Meanwhile, men—regardless of their paternal status—are encouraged to maintain personal hobbies, embark on weekend adventures, and assume leadership roles in their careers. If they excel at fatherhood, that’s simply an added bonus.
I firmly believe that by not centering my life entirely around my children, I am providing them with a well-rounded role model. They will see that motherhood is just one facet of who I am. This, in turn, may help them grow into well-rounded individuals who don’t feel the need to limit themselves to a single identity.
We raise our daughters to be ambitious and articulate, instilling in them the belief that they can achieve anything. However, we often neglect to grant ourselves that same freedom. Our parents worked tirelessly to help us become the multifaceted individuals we are today; we owe it to them to embrace our complexities. We are women who also happen to be mothers—and so much more.
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Summary
This piece explores the author’s struggle with the societal expectation to define herself solely as a mother. While she cherishes her children, she emphasizes the importance of maintaining her identity beyond motherhood, advocating for the recognition of women as multifaceted individuals.