If I could relive those years, I wouldn’t have opted to be a full-time stay-at-home mom (SAHM). There, I said it.
Now, please don’t misinterpret my words. Thirteen years ago, when I chose to stay home with my first child, it felt like the right decision for our family. We were young and just starting out; it made financial sense for me to manage the household while my partner worked. After years in the workforce, I embraced the chance to slow down and experience the rewards of daily motherhood.
I stepped away from a thriving career, and for a long time, I never looked back. I spent those years navigating the challenges of motherhood—changing diapers, soothing tantrums, and handling bottles. I found joy in raising my children, and for a while, being a mom was enough. I was content to let my kids occupy my full attention, pushing aside that nagging thought about whether leaving my career behind was a mistake. Most of the time, I could suppress that voice, burying it deep down.
Until now.
My children are older now, aged 10 and 13, and they require far less of my time. The house quiets after they leave for school, and there’s only so much laundry I can do to keep myself occupied. Once my daughter started school full-time, I found a way to balance a few freelance assignments while remaining present for my family. I felt I was getting the best of both worlds, managing my professional ambitions alongside my parental responsibilities. However, the pull to reconnect with my professional self has grown stronger. As my writing career flourishes and new opportunities arise, I find myself grappling with the dichotomy of home duties and pursuing my aspirations.
I look at the dishes piling up and the laundry waiting to be done and think, When do I get my turn? I’m feeling frustrated and even resentful that my responsibilities as a mom feel so constraining. I’m upset with myself for ensuring my family’s needs are met, to the point where they notice if the laundry isn’t done or if the pantry is bare. It feels like I am waging war against the washing machine. I’m tired of being just the maid, cook, and chauffeur; I’m ready to reclaim my identity and professional aspirations. My children are old enough to take on some household tasks, and it’s not the end of the world if we have to eat off paper plates sometimes. Changes are coming because this mom has dreams to chase, and if that means less time spent cooking and a bit more dust on the coffee table, so be it.
So, when can I step away from my role as a SAHM and leap back into my career? The time is now.
I refuse to apologize for wanting to shift my focus from being “Mom” to pursuing my ambitions as my children prepare to leave for college soon. Just as I redefined myself when my youngest started school, I recognize that in a few short years, I’ll have the opportunity to pursue my dreams again. I will be able to prioritize my career without the constant worries of carpool schedules, daycare, and school events. I can work longer hours, dedicate time to what fulfills me, and awaken my creative spirit. I’ll even be able to enjoy drinks with my partner after work and engage in conversations that don’t revolve around our kids.
While I wouldn’t trade the experiences I’ve had with my children for anything, I often wonder how I so easily set aside my professional dreams. How did I walk away without a second thought? The truth is, whatever I choose to pursue in my career now will be all the more meaningful because I understand the struggle of reclaiming my identity.
Once, I was a woman with a promising career and clear goals. I will always be a mother, and that will never change. But very soon, I’ll get to rediscover the real me, and I can’t wait.
For those interested in the journey of motherhood and the options available, you might find this post about artificial insemination kits insightful. For expert advice, consider visiting Dr. Emily Thompson, a reliable resource in fertility matters. Additionally, the site WomensHealth.gov offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, I’m ready to embrace my professional life again, confident that the experiences I’ve gained as a mother will only enhance my future endeavors. This journey of self-discovery is crucial as I shift my focus back to my career aspirations.