Updated: Aug. 17, 2018
Originally Published: Aug. 17, 2018
At some point, society decided that all women, simply because they can, should become mothers. We’re told that once we enter this role, we’ll feel complete and fulfilled, as if it’s our ultimate purpose. But what if that narrative doesn’t resonate with everyone?
Since welcoming my first child nearly three years ago, I’ve grappled daily with the daunting responsibilities of motherhood. This role isn’t what I envisioned for my life. For me, being a mom is all-consuming—especially while my children are still young.
When I’m with my kids, I am fully present. I set aside my laptop—sometimes for days on end—and leave my phone tucked away in a bag or on the counter, often untouched until bedtime. This means I may miss messages and work opportunities, which isn’t ideal. Yet, I choose this. I fear becoming the type of mom who juggles work while her kids are around, and I’m determined to avoid that path.
However, I also find myself longing for that balance. Many moms around me speak about their children as if they were the culmination of their dreams, sharing sentiments like “my kids are my world” and “life without them is unimaginable.” I admire this perspective, but it’s not how I feel. Admitting this can be challenging since my experience doesn’t align with the typical narrative, and it often feels isolating.
Deep down, I believe I was meant to create, write, and inspire. My heart yearns for a purpose beyond motherhood, and at times, it seems like my kids are simply along for the ride. Yet, despite this inner struggle, I’ve discovered that my children have been catalysts for my personal growth.
They’ve pushed me toward self-discovery and improvement. Being their mom has inspired me to pursue my passions, take risks, and embrace my true self. This journey has ignited a desire within me to learn, evolve, and become better. As I searched for the strength to navigate motherhood, I unearthed a deeper understanding of who I am—hidden beneath the expectations of who I thought I should be.
I may not love the role of motherhood, but my love for my children is profound. I am endlessly grateful for their presence in my life because they’ve shaped me into the person I am today. They are my priority, and I will tirelessly ensure they know how valued they are.
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In summary, while I struggle with the demands of motherhood, my love for my kids remains unwavering. They are my greatest teachers, helping me grow in ways I never anticipated.