I honestly believed that by now, I would have everything sorted out. Perhaps I was overly optimistic or simply naïve. It seems I may be lagging behind that elusive standard of “success” we’ve been conditioned to aspire to throughout our lives.
Whatever it is, I never imagined I would be a mother in my 40s, feeling as lost as I did in my younger years about what I want to be when I finally “grow up.” And I’m not just talking about my career; I’m also questioning who I want to become.
For the longest time, I thought I was alone in this. Everyone else seemed to have their lives together, or at least that’s how it appeared. Their polished LinkedIn profiles and #Winning hashtags on social media gave off an air of success that left me wondering if I was missing something.
Listening to my peers discuss topics like interest rates and home maintenance often leaves me baffled. Do they really know this stuff? How did they master the art of adulthood while I’m still trying to figure it all out?
As a teenager, I perceived my parents and their contemporaries as having it all together. They seemed to know their paths and were actively pursuing them. I assumed that by the time you hit your 40s, clarity would come naturally.
But for me, clarity is elusive. Some days, I feel the need to hustle, advance my career, and embrace my inner boss. Other days, the dream is to retreat to a cabin in the woods, save every stray dog I find, and live a simpler life. Most days, though, I’m just navigating through the fog of uncertainty.
A few years back, I began noticing how many women my age discussed their 40s with a sense of confident indifference. Yes, there’s definitely a liberating aspect, but nobody was mentioning the confusion that often accompanies this decade.
Here’s the reality check: your 40s can be disorienting and isolating, too. I can honestly say that many days, I feel uncertain about my direction in life. It was only after sharing my feelings with friends that I discovered I wasn’t alone; many women echoed my sentiments. “OMG, same here!” was the common response.
The Washington Post highlights that many people are reconsidering their life choices post-pandemic. It’s a widespread phenomenon; people everywhere are asking themselves, is this truly the life I want?
Our 40s bring significant changes. Our kids are growing up and relying on us less, yet their needs are often more complex. We can’t just pick up and embark on new adventures when there are graduations and driving lessons on the horizon. Whether our careers are flourishing or we’re embarking on new passions, the excitement can feel overwhelming and terrifying at the same time. What if we make the wrong choice? How can anyone truly know if they’re on the right path?
I’m losing my patience, and my tolerance for nonsense is dwindling. Life is too short and precious to waste on trivial matters. However, I’m acutely aware of how much nonsense exists. My aspirations for myself and others only complicate my journey to discover who I am and what I want from life.
For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me due to my feelings of confusion. But it dawned on me that the real issue is the unrealistic expectation to have life “figured out” by a certain age. That’s just absurd.
So here I am, in my 40s and still navigating my way through life. That’s perfectly okay. I’ll stumble, learn, try new things, and make more mistakes along the way. The key is to connect with others who recognize that we’re all figuring it out together, regardless of how perfect their social media profiles appear.
So yes, I’m in my 40s and still unsure about what I want to be when I “grow up.” If you’re feeling the same way, let’s muddle through this together.
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Summary: In my 40s, I still grapple with feelings of uncertainty about my career and identity. I once thought everyone else had it figured out, but many women my age share similar feelings of confusion and frustration. Life in your 40s can be disorienting, and societal pressures to have everything sorted can be overwhelming. Ultimately, it’s about embracing the journey, learning from mistakes, and finding community in shared experiences.