Last summer, my children spent a week with their dad. We’re divorced, and he usually treats them to exciting vacations every year. I was relaxing on my deck, enjoying the lovely weather and convincing myself that my kids were having a great time and that I could manage a week without them. As I started to drift off, my ex called.
It was unusual for him to call during their trips, so my heart raced. “I have some unfortunate news,” he said. Before he could continue, I blurted out, “Is everyone okay? What happened?”
“They’re all fine, but we’ve spent the afternoon at the police station,” he replied. What he said next left me stunned: “Mia took a ring while we were shopping and got caught.”
My immediate thoughts were for my daughter: Was she scared? Was she all right? Did she cry?
“She’s okay. Quiet but fine. No tears,” he reassured me.
I needed to speak with her right away. I understood her better than her dad did, and I wanted to ensure she was alright. When we spoke, she was curt, defensive, and clearly irritated. This is how Mia reacts when she knows she’s done something wrong—she becomes snappy and withdraws. Her true feelings tend to surface later when I try to coax them out of her.
Her dad filled me in on the details. While shopping with her cousins, they spotted a bin full of rings. Mia and her cousin found some that had fallen to the floor, and they laughed about how they must be free since they had no price tags. They were recorded on camera trying them on.
The store captured footage of them, and after contacting the police, my ex decided to take Mia to the local police station since they were four hours away from home. She was required to write an apology letter to the store, which she did that same day, and would have a hearing closer to home.
When she returned from the trip, it was clear she was upset with herself. She cried often. The ring she took was worth just a dollar; her dad would have bought it for her, and she had plenty saved from her summer job. When I asked why she did it, she merely shrugged.
I was flooded with questions and concerns: Is this a sign of a deeper issue? How many times has she done this? Can I trust her alone with her friends or cousins in the future? I felt ashamed and angry at Mia for doing something so foolish. But then I remembered my own teenage missteps. I had stolen candy from a grocery store when I was a freshman and had a party during my senior year where we drank from my mom’s liquor cabinet, only to refill the bottles with water. We later discussed our pasts, and she acknowledged that she knew it was wrong but never believed they would get caught. Isn’t that the mindset of most teens? They think they’re too clever to face consequences.
Her court date was set six months later, and I believe that experience genuinely frightened her into reconsidering her choices. It was incredibly difficult for me to watch her get fingerprinted. She apologized to the judge, who assigned her ten hours of community service to be completed within two months. I insisted she handle it herself—finding a place to volunteer and scheduling her hours. She chose to help at the local food bank. Because of her age, this incident will remain on her record for a while.
Of course, I wish she had never shoplifted in the first place. I never thought she was capable of such behavior. However, I am thankful she faced real consequences rather than simply receiving a warning. The community service was tough, and it meant she missed out on time with her friends.
Even though this has been a challenging experience, I truly believe that the lessons she learned from the consequences were far more impactful than anything I could have said. Sometimes, our teens must endure painful lessons, and this was undoubtedly one of those moments.
If you’re interested in more stories like this, check out this blog post.
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In summary, while it was painful to witness my daughter’s shoplifting incident, the lessons she learned through facing the consequences will hopefully guide her choices in the future.