I’m Frugal…But Only When It Comes to Myself

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A while back, a friend of mine, Sarah, reached out to share some running pants she could no longer use. Both of us are passionate about running, and she thought these stylish, high-end pants in a vibrant hue would suit me perfectly. I was thrilled to learn that she was gifting them to me as a gesture of “good runner karma.” When they arrived a few days later, it felt like an early holiday surprise, considering I would never splurge on such a luxury for myself.

Now, as I sit here post-workout in my new tights, I feel fantastic. My running had an extra bounce this morning, and the flattering fit made me feel more confident as I jogged past traffic, even at 42. My husband, who often overlooks my wardrobe changes, even complimented how cute I looked as I headed out. These pants might just become my new favorite.

My tendency to be frugal isn’t just confined to workout gear. Whenever it’s time to buy something for myself, I become obsessed with finding the lowest price and often end up overwhelmed in my search for bargains. This can lead to frustration, and I sometimes abandon the quest altogether. Yet, when it comes to my family, I’m more than willing to spend—whether it’s on a thoughtful gift for a friend or those pricey basketball shoes my daughter desperately needs.

Recently, when discussing my reluctance to treat myself with a couple of friends, they all nodded in agreement, confessing that they too struggle to justify splurging on themselves. We know that occasionally dipping into the family budget for a treat is acceptable, yet we find it hard to act on that knowledge. It made me reflect on the reasons behind our perpetual self-denial.

As mothers, we are conditioned to be selfless from the start. If we choose to breastfeed, we’re cautious about our diets for the sake of our babies. As our children grow, we sacrifice sleep over nightmares, skip workouts due to toddler tantrums, and spend countless hours driving them around—often at the cost of our sanity. Daily, we prioritize others because that’s what’s expected of us.

I’m calling nonsense on this, ladies.

To care for our families effectively, we must first care for ourselves. It begins with recognizing that we deserve that larger Starbucks coffee or the slice of cake that truly satisfies. It’s perfectly fine to bypass the clearance rack for those strappy sandals that make your legs look amazing. Life won’t crumble if you invest in those workout classes you’ve been eager to try or treat yourself to a few books from your favorite store.

Being a little selfish is not only acceptable; it’s necessary. Motherhood is demanding, and if we wait for acknowledgment of our hard work, we may be waiting indefinitely. Prioritizing ourselves not only improves our well-being as we tackle the challenges of parenting but also teaches our kids that we are worthy of care and attention. When they see us indulge now and then, it reinforces the idea that their world doesn’t revolve solely around them.

So, go ahead and treat yourself. It doesn’t always have to be monetary. Take a moment to relax before the kids get home; the laundry can wait. Spend a little extra time chatting with a friend after a meeting; your child won’t mind a slight delay from soccer practice. Stop what you’re doing right now and ask your partner for a kiss in the kitchen; I promise dinner will be just fine. Opt for a hot bath instead of a family movie, and make it a point to do something nice for yourself every day. Remember, you’re an incredible mom who deserves to celebrate your awesomeness.

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When all is said and done, I’ll be lounging on my couch, enjoying my new running pants and catching up on my favorite shows with a Venti Starbucks in hand, ready to greet my kids with a smile. A happy mom means a happy family.

Summary:

This article emphasizes the importance of self-care for mothers who often prioritize their families over themselves. It tells the story of a woman who receives a gift of running pants, highlighting her struggles with self-indulgence versus the willingness to splurge on loved ones. The message encourages mothers to embrace their worth, reminding them that taking time for themselves isn’t selfish, but rather essential for their well-being and their family’s happiness.