Last weekend, a kind Home Depot employee approached me as I was leaving with my three kids and offered them full-size candy canes. Honestly, I was grateful for my mask; it helped me hide my annoyance as I reluctantly replied, “Sure.” What else could I do? My children had already spotted her basket brimming with those hook-shaped sweets and were excited about snagging yet another candy cane this season. Saying no would have made me seem like a total Grinch.
I might sound like a real Scrooge when I say this, but I can’t stand candy canes. To be specific, I can’t stand the industrial-strength wrappers that are nearly impossible to open. I wanted to ask the employee if she could throw in a free box cutter so I could hand over the minty treats without struggling to open them one by one in the minivan like a frustrated rodent on a mission.
On rare occasions, I’ve stumbled upon a candy cane with a perforated wrapper, but I sometimes wonder if they were merely figments of my imagination. Have I ever been able to identify the brand or find those sugary treasures again? Of course not. They’re as elusive as four-leaf clovers during the holidays. Perforated candy cane wrappers are like Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil, or the Loch Ness monster. People claim they exist, but very few have actually seen them.
December is officially candy cane season, and they’re everywhere. Everyone seems to think, “What do kids want more than anything? A long stick of peppermint candy in a wrapper tough enough to survive reentry from space!” They hand these appealing snacks to my children, who have no clue how to open such fortified treats. Guess who ends up having to excavate her way into them — without breaking the candy and dealing with tears? That’s right, me. Three times over. Every single time.
Sure, I could let my kids struggle like I did back in the ’80s, but isn’t parenting about sparing our children the hardships we faced? What kind of mother would I be if I tossed the candy canes in the back seat and told my little ones to fend for themselves?
How do these manufacturers expect us to access these things? Are they meant to be purely decorative? My mom used to hang candy canes on our Christmas tree, and now I understand why—she wanted me to believe they were just ornaments to avoid constant requests for openings!
And it’s not just peppermint varieties. There are so many delicious flavors available now—fruity, chocolatey, you name it. Yet, each and every one remains a challenge to unwrap. I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day and the joy of easily peeling off the paper-thin foil of a Hershey’s kiss. Pure bliss.
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In summary, the struggle of unwrapping candy canes is a holiday hassle that many parents face. With wrappers designed to withstand anything, it’s a wonder how we’re expected to access these festive treats without a battle. It’s time for manufacturers to consider perforated candy cane wrappers!