I’m Experiencing Languishing Right Now — And You Might Be Too

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For the last several months, I have found it increasingly difficult to respond to the simple question, “How are you?” Should I admit that the weight of pandemic fatigue and moral dilemmas has left me feeling like curling up in a ball? Or should I express gratitude for our health, safety, a decent job, and a comfortable home, which sometimes brings me to tears of happiness? Or perhaps I should just be honest and say that most days I’m enveloped in a mix of loneliness, frustration, gratitude, fear, and exhaustion, topped with confusion about my life’s direction.

But I suspect that’s not the answer most people want to hear, so I often just sigh and say, “I’m fine… I guess.”

Deep down, however, I know the truth — as you likely do too — that I’m not truly fine. Just because we’re not in a state of crisis and can express gratitude doesn’t mean we’re thriving.

Here’s the raw and honest truth: I’ve been feeling a bit like Eeyore lately. I’m not terrible off, but I certainly don’t feel good either. While I’m not as overwhelmed as I was six months ago, when stress manifested in constant headaches and jaw pain from grinding my teeth, I still feel… well, a bit “off.”

I’m unproductive, unmotivated, and lethargic. I find myself sighing often, responding to most questions with a sense of apathy. “Who cares?” I think to myself.

Until recently, I thought I was alone in this feeling. But it turns out I’m not. Adam Grant’s viral piece in the New York Times titled “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing” brought this feeling to light. This article has circulated widely, sparking conversations everywhere because many of us are experiencing it.

Grant describes languishing as a sense of stagnation and emptiness, likening it to muddling through days while viewing life through a foggy windshield. It may well be the predominant emotion of 2021.

This doesn’t negate the fact that some people are genuinely struggling, while others are thriving. However, many of us find ourselves languishing — not quite depressed but certainly not happy. We’re just… blah. Or maybe blegh. It varies from day to day.

Languishing includes diminished motivation, difficulty concentrating, and reduced productivity. It’s that blend of sighs, blahs, and emotional confusion that leads to anxiety about getting our hopes up.

There is, however, a glimmer of hope. Vaccines are now widely accessible, and many people I know have received at least one dose. Even CDC Director Rochelle Walensky has noted a “really hopeful decline” in daily cases.

But after nearly 15 months of relentless bad news, anything that isn’t dread feels strange. Looking forward to a family vacation or a BBQ with friends can feel uncomfortable, like a setup for disappointment if those plans fall through. Should I be hopeful or remain on high alert? It often feels like I’m being gaslit.

What Can We Do About It?

So, if we’re all experiencing languishing, what can we do about it? The first step is acknowledging it. Instead of automatically saying “fine” or “good,” we should share how we’re really feeling when asked. This shift could counteract the toxic positivity that pressures us to be cheerful all the time.

Grant also suggests finding small moments of “flow” throughout our day — activities that engage us in meaningful challenges or connections, making us lose track of time. Simple tasks like organizing a garage, completing a crossword puzzle, or tending to a garden can help us find that flow.

Recognizing our personal and collective struggles has real power. We cannot heal what we don’t acknowledge. As Grant states, “Not depressed doesn’t mean you’re not struggling.”

I’ll admit, I am struggling. Not as intensely as a few months ago, but each day feels like a slog. However, knowing that there’s a term for it — languishing — and that others are feeling this existential heaviness too offers me a bit of comfort. Perhaps it brings you some comfort as well.

Sigh.

If you’re looking for more insights on this topic, check out this related blog post and learn more about the importance of emotional well-being. For those interested in plant-based products, this source is a great authority. Also, this website provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.

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In summary, many of us are experiencing a state of languishing — a feeling of stagnation and emotional disconnection. While we might not be in crisis, we’re also not thriving. Acknowledging these feelings and finding small moments of engagement can help us navigate through this phase.