Recently, I had a particularly rough day and decided to share it on social media. In response, someone remarked, “You’re so strong.” I fought the impulse to throw my laptop out the window. Although they intended it as praise, what I truly longed to hear was: “I see your struggle. You can take a break.”
As a parent navigating the complexities of modern life, I’m weary of being labeled “strong.” My daily routine often feels like trying to herd a group of wild cats. I adore my children, and I am, without a doubt, fortunate. However, their energy can be overwhelming. On days when they all decide to express their needs at once, I find myself wishing I could simply cover my ears and join in the chaos. Instead, I have to maintain my composure. As my therapist often reminds me, when chaos erupts, I am expected to be the most emotionally grounded person in the room.
I’m tired of that expectation. I’m tired of being seen as strong.
I wake up at dawn, fueled by coffee, and it’s not because I want to. It’s a necessity. The early mornings have become my only quiet time, a moment of solitude before chaos reigns. When friends ask how I manage to wake up so early, they admire me without realizing that it’s not a choice; it’s a requirement.
We all have our reasons for rising before the sun. Maybe you’re juggling chores or simply need that brief moment of peace before the day begins. We often commend each other for our productivity, but what I really want is for someone to ask, “Why are you awake at this ungodly hour?”
On social media, I share memes and articles that resonate with my experiences—some are humorous, while others cut deep. When I post, I often receive comments like, “You’re so strong” or “You handle this so well.” I know people mean well, but sometimes I just want to scream: I don’t want to be strong. I want someone to acknowledge my pain and say, “It’s okay to break down. I’m here for you.”
Even in conversations about therapy, friends applaud me for seeking help, telling me how strong I am. But those words feel hollow; therapy is a challenging journey that forces me to confront my deepest fears and traumas. What I need is for someone to sit with me in silence and say, “You can let your guard down. You don’t have to be strong right now.”
What we really want to hear is: You don’t need to be strong anymore. We crave reassurance that it’s okay to express vulnerability, that we can cry or vent without judgment. Instead of offering empty platitudes, we want genuine connection. If you truly care, reach out and offer your support. It’s easier to tell someone they’re strong than to truly be there for them.
Instead of labeling us as strong, see our struggles and remind us, “You’re not alone.” Then, simply be present with us, so we don’t always have to carry the weight of strength.
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In summary, the label of being “strong” often feels like a burden rather than a compliment. What many of us need is the space to express our vulnerability and the assurance that we’re not alone in our struggles.