Learning to appreciate my body has been a deliberate journey. For the first three decades of my life, I struggled with deep dissatisfaction every time I caught a glimpse of myself. Society consistently reinforced the idea that thinness was the ultimate goal for women, and since I never fit that mold, I felt far from ideal.
Ironically, I was a strong proponent of living life to the fullest, regardless of one’s size. I wore what I wanted and went where I pleased, never allowing my body to confine me. My larger frame never truly limited my experiences; the real barriers existed in my mind. Despite my efforts to project confidence, I often found myself making jokes about my size or apologizing for taking up space. I even felt compelled to label myself as unhealthy, despite being completely fit.
While I didn’t shy away from life, I couldn’t find complete joy because of my self-image. The internal conflict of being somewhat self-assured as a person but deeply unhappy about my appearance was exhausting. I often felt my size was a significant drawback, and I constantly sought ways to prove my worth. It was a confusing and painful mindset.
Many well-meaning individuals suggested that I should change my body. While it might seem like a logical solution, the reality is that altering one’s size is a long and challenging endeavor. I simply didn’t want to wait that long to feel happy. My self-hatred was draining; I was tired of placing so much significance on my body size. It was crucial for me to discover a sense of wholeness and contentment, regardless of my weight.
To achieve this, I understood that I had to disconnect my self-worth from my physical appearance. I needed to truly love my body as it was. It wasn’t until I took a hard look at my parenting style that I realized how much my self-loathing affected my children.
Two years ago, I embarked on a mission to reshape my mindset. I recognized that my body was not a disaster just because it was larger, and I began to consume content that uplifted me instead of making me feel inferior. I found healthcare professionals who focused on my overall well-being without fixating on my weight. While maintaining my health remains important, the number on the scale no longer defines my self-worth.
As I uncovered the harmful nature of diet culture, I consciously distanced myself from negative messages. I started to encourage others to recognize their value and created spaces for plus-size women to share their experiences. This journey toward self-love brought me a sense of community and belonging. The more I embraced my body, the better I felt in it. This shift positively impacted various aspects of my life—my marriage flourished, my wardrobe became more enjoyable, and I received career opportunities I never thought possible.
Most importantly, learning to love my body has made me a more attentive mother. I had no idea how much my self-image influenced my parenting until I scrutinized my habits and intentions. Because I perceived my body as imperfect, I felt immense pressure to ensure everything else was perfect too. I needed my home to be immaculate, fearing that if it wasn’t, I would be seen as a lazy person due to my size.
Seeing my average-sized children play and thrive brought me relief. I worried that my body would somehow inflict harm upon them, hoping their thinness would shield them from the insecurities I faced. I exerted maximum effort in every aspect of parenting, not to judge others, but to prove I was providing adequately for my children, despite my size. I was constantly comparing myself to other moms, worried my kids would one day believe their lives would have been better if I were thinner.
Looking back, I realize that the true issue was my mindset, not my body. As I began to shed the weight of self-hatred, I embraced the concept of imperfection. If I could accept my body as both flawed and acceptable, why not extend that grace to other areas of my life? As my negative feelings about my body faded, so did my need for perfection. I no longer feared being inadequate for my children.
In parenthood, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may not get every single day right—and that’s perfectly fine. I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty in mismatched socks and the value of taking a day off. My definition of a tidy home has shifted; it no longer needs to resemble a magazine layout to feel adequate.
I talk to my children about the remarkable capabilities of their bodies, cultivating a sense of wonder and respect for themselves. They trust my perspective on bodies because I don’t voice negativity about mine. While they will eventually encounter societal messages about body image, I’ve already laid a foundation of appreciation for all shapes and sizes.
Transforming my thoughts and language about my body has been challenging, and it continues to be a daily effort. I fight against perfectionism intentionally. I understand that maintaining this love for my body is an ongoing commitment—much like nurturing a marriage. I never want to revert to viewing myself as broken or less-than.
My body is not my entire identity, but it plays a significant role in who I am. Embracing my body marked the beginning of accepting the beautiful chaos that is my life. My body has nurtured and cared for my children, providing them with everything they need. There is nothing to despise here; my body is as miraculous as any other.
Learning to love my body has become the greatest gift I can give my kids—a realization I never anticipated.
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Summary
This article discusses the transformative journey of learning to appreciate one’s body and how that self-love positively impacts parenting. The author reflects on the societal pressures surrounding body image and emphasizes the importance of disconnecting self-worth from physical appearance. By embracing imperfection and fostering a sense of community, the author has found joy in both personal and parenting experiences.