I’ve never been one to frequently check the school’s parent portal, maybe just once a month for a quick overview. I believe it’s essential for my children to take ownership of their education, just as I did. I don’t think they need constant reminders from teachers or me; they should learn to manage their time independently, and that means allowing them to face the consequences of their actions.
Until last year, my kids managed fine without my interference. Sure, there were a few late assignments that they would rush to submit, knowing full well the penalty of a lower grade. My approach seemed to work—until it didn’t.
When my son entered his sophomore year, I noticed a concerning change in his attitude toward school. Then, I received an email notifying me that he was failing history just weeks before the school year ended. This failure wasn’t due to a lack of ability but rather a complete disregard for the work itself. He had half-finished assignments buried in his backpack, and his teacher informed me it was too late to submit them—one was even a month old.
When I confronted him, he shrugged it off as if it were no big deal. In response, his father and I took away his phone and limited his social time, hoping that this would teach him a lesson. Ultimately, he failed the class and is now retaking it as a junior.
Due to this rocky finish, my ex-husband and I have become vigilant, checking that portal every day. School restarted last month, and as of a few weeks ago, he was failing three classes. To say I wanted to explode with frustration is an understatement. As I expressed my concerns about the ramifications of dropping out, he stared back at me blankly, seemingly indifferent to the gravity of the situation.
My son is intelligent. When he puts his mind to it, he earns As. Yet, right now, he has an A in chemistry but is falling behind in math, history, and psychology. The issue? He simply isn’t submitting his assignments, and I can’t grasp the reason behind his apparent laziness.
His teacher informed me, “He’s only submitted one out of seven assignments due this year and scored a 40 on the last test.” Just one. Out of seven. It feels as though he is making a conscious effort to fail, as if he believes the rules don’t apply to him.
Clearly, he doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. I decided it was time to be firm and illustrate what life would look like without a high school diploma. At 16, he’s eager to drive, work, and buy a car. I reminded him that while he’s old enough for those privileges, they need to be earned. The only path to earning them is to get serious about his schoolwork.
He applied for his driver’s test—scheduled for next week—and I made it clear that he must submit all late assignments by that date. He also interviewed for a job and got the position, but I warned him that he would have to decline if he didn’t improve his school performance.
If he can’t manage his academic responsibilities, he certainly can’t handle a job or a car. I refuse to allow him to work part-time during the school year unless he demonstrates that he can keep up with his studies. I’m not asking for perfection; I just want to see effort, responsibility, and adherence to deadlines—basic life skills that he must learn, even if it takes everything I have.
He was furious and stormed around for a day. However, when I picked him up from school last week, he mentioned that he had talked to his teachers and was working to catch up on his assignments.
Yet, I remain anxious. I’ve lost sleep over this, and the tension eats at me. While other parents boast about their kids’ college plans and AP classes, I just want mine to graduate. I want to encourage him, but I feel torn between support and the need to impose consequences to drive home the seriousness of his situation. I hope my approach works.
As with every hurdle we face as parents, I can only do my best and hope for a positive outcome. But this feels like our biggest challenge yet, one that will shape his entire future. I have to maintain faith in his abilities and my own perseverance.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to navigate this journey, trying to balance being a supportive mom and setting necessary boundaries. I don’t want to be the “mean mom” who takes away his teenage freedoms—like a job or driving privileges—yet it may be the only way he’ll earn that diploma.
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In summary, parenting is a constant balancing act, especially when it comes to our children’s education and future paths. As I continue to support my son through his academic struggles, I remain hopeful for a positive resolution.