I’ll be honest – I appreciated quarantine. Okay, “appreciated” might be a stretch, but let’s distinguish between the COVID-19 pandemic and the quarantine itself. COVID is awful. It has caused heartbreak and loss. It has shuttered small businesses and disrupted lives, closing schools, canceling weddings, and separating families during crucial moments. However, the quarantine that followed has offered me opportunities for introspection and personal growth. It has allowed me to reconnect with myself.
To provide some context, just before the quarantine began, I was juggling my role as a high school assistant principal, coaching college softball, dabbling in photography, and preparing for my Ph.D. dissertation defense—all while being eight months pregnant with my third child. “How do you manage it all?” people would often ask, and I would wonder the same thing. Reflecting on that time, I now understand that I was managing at a significant cost—hidden costs that affected my physical and mental well-being. I felt irritable, exhausted, and anxious. I wasn’t taking care of myself, and I often found myself distracted, not fully present for my family. I was perpetually busy, overwhelmed by a never-ending list of tasks, and often found myself working late into the night.
When life came to a sudden halt in March, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. This pause forced me to examine my life and my happiness closely. As we slowly emerge from quarantine, I’ve made it a priority to reflect, journal, and converse with loved ones about how I want to define myself moving forward. I came across an insightful post by Jamie Hollis that said, “In the rush to return to normal, consider which aspects of normal are truly worth returning to.” This sentiment has inspired my current mindset as I sift through what I want to keep in my life.
I have fond memories of searching for shark teeth on the beaches of the Gulf of Florida with my grandfather, who crafted a sifter on a long pole. We would fill it with sand, shake it out, and examine what we found for treasures. In the same way, I’m now sifting through my experiences during quarantine—identifying the treasures and the sand.
So, what are my treasures?
Firstly, I’ve embraced a slower pace of life, which I genuinely enjoy. I feel as though I can breathe again. I used to think that constant multitasking was the key to happiness, but I’ve realized that it was a misconception. I’ve learned to appreciate downtime and even discovered that I enjoy taking naps! While this new pace may not be entirely sustainable, I’m committed to incorporating more moments of calm into my life.
Additionally, I’ve become more present with my children. Although there were chaotic days filled with video meetings while juggling parenting duties, I’ve also relished meaningful moments with them—whether it’s a magical morning walk, an afternoon picnic, or baking cookies together.
On the flip side, what hasn’t worked?
I’ve struggled to find alone time with my husband, especially with a newborn in the house. The anxiety surrounding COVID has weighed heavily on me, making daily decisions feel daunting. I’ve spent too much time scrolling through social media and indulging in chocolate, though at least it’s dark chocolate! I’ve also faced challenges in balancing work and family time, which has blurred the lines in ways I didn’t expect.
As we gradually emerge from quarantine, I’m focused on sustaining the positive changes I’ve experienced. This may involve waking up early for journaling, saying no to additional work commitments, or prioritizing activities that nurture my well-being. Being intentional in my choices is crucial in ensuring I don’t revert to my old habits.
While COVID has been a struggle for many, quarantine has provided me with clarity. I no longer crave the hustle and bustle of “doing it all.” Instead, I seek to breathe, be present, and embrace the space in my life. I’ll continue to sift through my experiences, identifying the treasures and letting the sand wash away.
For more insights on navigating this journey, check out this blog post, which delves into similar themes.
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In summary, this reflection reveals how quarantine has reshaped my perspective on life and motherhood, allowing me to prioritize well-being and meaningful connections.