Parenting Insights by Marissa Collins
One evening, as I was tucking my kids in bed with all the windows wide open, I found myself giving them a rather loud lecture about listening. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and my heart sank. My immediate thought was, “Oh no, what did they just overhear?” Standing at my door was a charming older couple, their faces bright with smiles. Without thinking, I blurted out, “Did you hear me scolding my kids?” They chuckled, like many parents do after their child-rearing days are behind them, and replied, “No. Did they need it?” I laughed it off, while my partner likely wished he could disappear. Meanwhile, my kids in their pajamas, still damp from their baths, were left unsure of how to react.
I assure you, I am a great mom. I just raise my voice a bit.
From my earliest innocent days, I swore I would never be the type of mom who yells. However, as a child, it’s easy to make promises without grasping their meaning. Honestly, anyone who hasn’t experienced parenthood firsthand has no place judging my parenting abilities. Children can push your buttons in ways you never anticipated. And those moms who never raise their voices? I’m convinced they possess some kind of rare DNA. Yet, I suspect they struggle with other parenting aspects—like cracking up at their kids’ silly jokes or initiating spontaneous dance-offs after dinner—two things I excel at, by the way.
Let me be clear: I genuinely believe I’m a fantastic mother. It’s just that kids can drive you a bit crazy more often than expected. Over the past 11 years of motherhood, I’ve made significant strides in curbing my yelling.
To the lady giving me a disapproving look in the grocery store lot as I’m urging my 3-year-old to buckle up, I promise I’m a good mom. What you didn’t witness was the two minutes he spent staring into space while I patiently waited. When he finally turned around, it felt like time slowed, and I swear I could see my life flash before my eyes. So, please forgive my outburst.
I love my children dearly and am actively working on improving myself. And to my neighbor who hears me raising my voice because my kids are too busy dancing in front of the mirror to brush their teeth, I assure you, I’m a great mom. I just yell occasionally since my kids seem to have the attention spans of squirrels.
To my friend who witnesses my frustration with neighborhood kids for attempting to put my child in a trash can, I feel justified in my reaction. It’s rather nice knowing they might be a tad intimidated by me.
And to the customer service representative on the phone who hears me asking my child to quiet down before I lose my mind, please know I’m a good mom. It’s just that I can’t seem to have a phone conversation without interruptions.
I can genuinely say that I’ve reduced the frequency of my yelling. I understand the importance of setting goals as a parent and striving to meet them. Yes, yelling can be harmful to kids—I know that. That’s why I’m determined to minimize it. I’ve learned the value of sincere apologies and that breaking habits takes time. An occasional shout, especially when we’re running late for school, isn’t going to scar anyone for life.
I embrace my imperfections. Yes, I yell sometimes, but it’s usually for a good reason. I am continually striving to be the mom who doesn’t raise her voice, but I refuse to stop being the mom who laughs at silly jokes during dinner.
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In summary, while I may not be perfect and occasionally raise my voice, I am a loving and dedicated mother working hard to improve. It’s important to embrace the journey of motherhood, including all the ups and downs that come with it.