The common perception of ADHD often revolves around a young boy struggling to stay still, bouncing off the walls, and battling focus issues. But that’s only part of the story.
Hello! I’m a mom with ADHD, and my experience is far from that energetic child stereotype. In reality, I often feel overwhelmed by everything around me. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, making it hard to concentrate on any one thing. This constant mental chatter can lead to sensory overload as I try to handle the chaos of mess, noise, touch, and the constant demands of my children.
Focusing has always been a challenge for me. I recall zoning out for hours while attempting to complete my homework, repeatedly reading the same sentences without grasping their meaning. This often made me feel inferior to my peers, convincing me that I was failing academically.
Understanding my ADHD early was beneficial, but it wasn’t until I became a parent that I truly recognized its impact on my life.
Daily Life
I find myself procrastinating constantly, which turns my evenings into a frantic race to tackle even a fraction of my to-do list. On days when I feel somewhat focused, I still only manage to accomplish one or two simple tasks.
This struggle affects how present I am with my kids. My brain craves stimulation, and the thought of engaging in repetitive play feels monotonous. When I hyper-focus on something, it’s challenging to break away from that concentration.
Countless times, my kids have been left to entertain themselves while I get lost in researching topics like how to use rabbit droppings as fertilizer or the best rabbit diets (despite not even owning rabbits or a garden).
We often have the TV on in the background, which sometimes leads to my kids watching shows while I scroll through social media or chat with friends on Marco Polo.
Frustrations
Caffeine does little for my energy levels, which is particularly frustrating as a mom. I frequently misplace my phone at home, to the point where I’ve developed a habit of constantly checking it when I’m out.
I also struggle with knowing when it’s my turn to speak in conversations. I often think it’s my turn, only to find someone else talking. When the moment finally arrives for me, I can’t remember what I wanted to say.
Perhaps the most challenging aspect is dealing with overstimulation. Despite the common belief that people with ADHD are excellent multitaskers, that’s far from my reality. Juggling multiple tasks at once can be overwhelming. For instance, I can’t manage to cook dinner while answering my toddler’s endless questions; sometimes, I even forget I’m cooking altogether.
Mental Health
For much of my life, I’ve questioned what was wrong with me, often comparing myself to others. Logically, I understand how ADHD affects my focus and presence, but I still find myself thinking, “If only I tried harder, I could be ‘normal.’”
Why can’t I just sit down and finish a blog post? Why can’t I fully enjoy time with my family? Why do I struggle with multitasking? Why do I hyper-focus on things only to lose interest once that focus fades?
I consistently remind myself that I am a good mom, wife, and friend, but those nagging doubts resurface from time to time.
Spending time with my best friends is crucial for my mental well-being. They provide a safe space where I can truly be myself and remind me that it’s okay to embrace my quirks.
Fears
Like any parent, I worry that I’m not raising my children properly and that my efforts aren’t enough. While I’m not overly concerned about my kids potentially having ADHD, I do worry that my condition will hinder my parenting and lead them to struggle similarly.
I fear they might feel like failures, and I can’t shake the feeling that it might be my fault. Finding a balance between being a functional mom and allowing my children to witness my struggles is tough. I believe it’s essential for kids to see their parents overcome challenges, but my struggles are constant.
While my youngest children might not notice now, I worry about how they’ll perceive things as they grow older. I want to ensure they don’t blame themselves for my difficulties.
Notes for Moms with ADHD
You’re doing a fantastic job, and you deserve all the grace in the world. You don’t need to accomplish everything to be a supermom; your ability to navigate daily challenges that others may not face makes you extraordinary.
Seeking assistance—whether from a babysitter or a therapist—is not a sign of weakness but rather a testament to your strength and self-acceptance. Above all, be kind to yourself; you truly deserve it.
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Summary
Being a mom with ADHD presents unique challenges, from procrastination and overstimulation to fears about parenting. Despite these struggles, it’s essential to recognize your worth and seek support when needed.