After a long day filled with work, fueling up my car, getting an oil change, and grocery shopping, I was finally ready to relax at home. But then I received texts from my kids craving fries and milkshakes. Since I was already in town, I decided to swing by the drive-thru—it would be quick, and I could indulge in a Diet Coke without leaving my car.
I returned home with a trunk full of groceries and a feast of fast food. After putting everything away, I collapsed on the couch. Just as I was about to drift off, my daughter came downstairs, dragging her brother along for a trip to the dollar store. They know how to play the “Let’s Convince Mom” game, especially since they’re teenagers and don’t always want to spend time with me.
Honestly, I didn’t want to go. I was exhausted, just wanting to unwind and watch the Property Brothers transform homes. But I hadn’t spent much time with them all day, and the weight of feeling drained yet wanting to connect made it hard to say no. So, I agreed, despite my fatigue.
The dollar store trip was a bust. They picked out all sorts of junk that they wanted me to buy, and with my dogs barking, I was tempted to sit on the floor and try out a plastic foot massager. My back ached from the day, and I needed some Advil. The trip was frustrating, and we ended up arguing all the way home.
As we drove, I broke down and expressed how I felt unappreciated and invisible, like my exhaustion didn’t matter. My daughter pointed out that I should have said no, and she was right.
This is a constant struggle for me since becoming a mom. My first instinct is usually to agree to their requests, but just because I can do something doesn’t mean I have to. It’s crucial to show my kids love in different ways. Telling them no doesn’t reflect a lack of care or makes me a bad mother.
I need to establish that it’s okay to be tired, to not feel like entertaining company, and to let them manage on their own. It’s perfectly fine for kids to hear “not right now” or to wait for what they want. I didn’t become a mother to lose myself in constant servitude. My goal is to raise strong, independent kids who are resilient and comfortable with boundaries.
Yes, it’s instinctive to prioritize their needs, but it’s essential to recognize that it doesn’t have to be every single time. If I need to relax on the couch after a long day instead of running around for them, I should honor that need.
From my years of parenting, I’ve learned that occasionally telling my kids “no” will benefit them in the long run. I want them to witness me valuing my well-being, so they learn to do the same.
For more insights on parenthood and boundaries, check out this related article and this one, which offers excellent advice on balancing personal needs with family responsibilities. If you’re exploring family-building options, this resource can be invaluable.
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In summary, it’s essential for mothers to set boundaries for their own well-being and to teach children the value of patience and independence. By saying no when necessary, we can foster stronger, more resilient kids while ensuring we take care of ourselves.