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Middle school: that awkward phase filled with insecurities, drama, hormones, and the smell of sweaty kids all crammed into one building. When I was in sixth grade, I thought it was the worst experience of my life. The cafeteria food was awful, and the bathrooms were often unpleasantly chaotic. Now that I’m in high school, however, I realize those middle school years were actually the least stressful time I’ve had so far.
At 16, I’m now a junior in high school. My bedroom has transformed into more of a study space than a place to relax, as I’ve spent most of this year at home. While it sometimes felt monotonous, I’ve managed to reconnect with my middle school friends via Instagram. Our chats often revolve around lighthearted debates, like whether orange juice is superior to apple juice (orange juice is definitely the winner in my book). But these conversations also remind me of how naïve I was during our in-person interactions.
Back in sixth grade, my brother was a freshman at a prestigious high school. His school was the top-ranked institution in our state, and to get in, he had to submit his grades, test scores, and even go through an interview process. Each year, about a thousand students apply, but only a hundred make the cut. I wanted to follow in his footsteps, but for all the wrong reasons—I was eager to impress my parents and my peers.
Throughout middle school, I maintained the highest GPA in my class, driven in part by my good behavior and strong relationships with teachers. I even received an athlete award in PE, even though I wasn’t really an athlete at all. Over time, my academic success led to a sense of arrogance. The report cards ranked my grades against my peers, and while I had to fight to remain at the top, I ultimately graduated as the valedictorian. This accomplishment inflated my ego, and I believed I was truly exceptional when I got accepted into my dream high school.
Compliments about my intelligence and creativity had always surrounded me, and I thought I excelled in all academic and artistic pursuits. However, my first class in high school shattered that illusion. A straightforward engineering teacher bluntly told us that we were no longer unique. Everyone had stellar middle school grades and reputations, and suddenly, we all felt the same.
While I wouldn’t want anyone to label me as stupid or incapable, I wish someone had told me during my self-important middle school days that I wasn’t as brilliant as I thought. I exaggerated my knowledge so much that I failed to grasp how much I still had to learn. Additionally, I regret not being encouraged to pursue activities I genuinely enjoyed. It saddens me that I spent my middle school years engaging in pursuits driven by the pressure to maintain a “smart” persona—like being on the LEGO robotics team, despite having little understanding of building or coding.
Though it may not matter now, I sometimes wish I had a memorable experience from middle school to look back on. I made the mistake of tying my self-worth to my grades. So when I began receiving Cs and low Bs in high school, my self-esteem took a significant hit.
That said, I am thankful for the opportunities I’ve received. I have adapted to the high school environment, and life is starting to look up. While good grades and being a valedictorian are impressive achievements, I can’t help but feel regret over how my intense focus on academics created a barrier to friendships and happiness. The pursuit of being valedictorian often requires sacrifices, and I feel like I may have given up too much for something that won’t hold much significance in the long run.
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Summary:
A high school junior reflects on the pressures of being a middle school valedictorian, realizing that the focus on grades led to a sense of superiority and a lack of genuine enjoyment in activities. The author shares regrets about sacrificing friendships and happiness for academic accomplishments, ultimately recognizing that self-worth should not be solely based on grades.