When I first learned about the tragic shootings in Atlanta, which claimed the lives of eight innocent individuals, six of whom were Asian women, I felt a profound sense of despair. The recent surge of violence and animosity directed toward people who resemble me and my family had reached a frightening new peak. A whirlwind of fears gripped me. Was this a significant turning point? Would the situation continue to deteriorate?
After discussing my concerns and emotions with my wife, who is Caucasian, we decided that I should talk to our older children about these incidents. It’s never easy to explain senseless violence and loss to kids, but unfortunately, I’ve had to confront tough discussions before — from the murder of George Floyd to the Capitol insurrection and the racism faced by Asian Americans.
My wife and I want our children to be informed and aware of current events, particularly those that connect to our family’s social justice values and biracial background. While I may never articulate everything perfectly, I believe that creating imperfect teachable moments is far superior to leaving them uninformed or relying on hearsay.
I didn’t want to rush into the conversation with my children, so I took a day to process my emotions. I aimed to share my thoughts without becoming overwhelmed or frightening them. The next day, I gathered my two oldest daughters, aged 10 and 8, and let them know that I needed to discuss something distressing.
I adjusted my explanation to suit their developmental stages, sharing that something tragic had occurred involving a man who killed eight people, six of whom were Asian women. I expressed my sadness over the loss of life and the fact that some victims looked like us. I reminded them of our past discussions about hatred and violence against Asians, especially during the pandemic, which has seen a rise in such incidents.
As I concluded the conversation, I faced the most challenging part: I wanted to end on a reassuring note without instilling fear. So, I told them they would be safe. I had no real basis for that assurance, but I felt it was essential to say. To further comfort them, I explained that these events happened far away, on the other side of the country.
As soon as we finished, I realized I had not been truthful. I couldn’t guarantee their safety from harm. Data from Stop AAPI Hate highlights the prevalence of hate incidents in our state, and just the week before, I learned of an attack on an Asian man in our nearby community. Beyond physical violence, my family could also face various forms of hate, including verbal abuse and vandalism.
So why did I mislead my children by telling them they would be okay? Firstly, I felt an overwhelming need to shield them. As a parent, one of my key responsibilities is to prepare my kids for the world’s challenges. That’s why I wanted to discuss these tragic events — to equip them for harsh realities. Yet, I didn’t want to instill paralyzing fear. So, I lied.
Secondly, as an Asian man, I often struggle with expressing my feelings. I’ve spent my life suppressing emotions, believing they would hinder my ability to function. I didn’t want to convey my deep anger and hatred toward those responsible for this violence, fearing I would lose control. So, I lied.
Finally, I had no clear idea of what actions were being taken to address this issue. If I had known of specific efforts to combat anti-Asian violence, I would have shared them with my kids. But in that moment, I had no hope to offer. It seemed like for too long, only Asian Americans had been concerned with this issue. The best I could do to comfort my children and myself was to offer vague reassurances. So, I lied again.
I yearn for the day when I can tell my children that they will be okay without it being a falsehood. In my darkest moments, I fear that day will never come — not in my lifetime or theirs. Yet, in my more hopeful moments, I believe that families like ours speaking out and acting together can help bring about the necessary changes.
For more insights, check out this related blog post and learn from the experts at Intracervical Insemination, who are authorities on this topic. Additionally, for an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Science Daily.
Potential Search Queries:
- home insemination kit
- home insemination syringe
- self insemination
- how to prepare for insemination
- understanding fertility options
In summary, while I aimed to reassure my children about their safety in a world filled with uncertainty and hate, I grappled with the reality that I could not guarantee their protection. My desire to shield them from fear led me to withhold the truth of my own concerns and the complexities of confronting violence and prejudice in our society.