My partner has a playful habit he indulges in while we’re out shopping at the grocery store or Target: he approaches me from behind and whispers, “Well, hello, Miss,” as though we’re total strangers.
When he first started this two years ago during the early days of our relationship, I thought it was merely the excitement of a new romance that made it so thrilling. But no, he continues to do it, and it still ignites that spark just like it did the first time. It has also given me the confidence to explore role playing in the bedroom—something I had never considered before we met.
Since he initiated the first role play, I felt encouraged to join in the fun. Let’s face it: being intimate with the same person for years can become a bit monotonous. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge that and to seek out something a bit more thrilling when it comes to your time together. Variety truly is the spice of life. Just like we don’t eat the same meal every day, our intimate lives deserve a bit of flair too. We crave diverse feelings, emotions, and sensations. One exciting way to achieve this with your partner is through role play. While the thought of it might make some of us squirm, that’s completely normal. After all, most of us aren’t fond of hearing our own voices in videos, let alone acting out scenarios where we pretend to be someone else while seducing our partners.
To help ease into this playful realm, I reached out to some intimacy experts for guidance on how to ignite the flames of desire through role playing. Gigi Hayes, a certified sex coach and author, suggests fully embracing your character. “It’s like creating your own adult film. In fact, embodying a character from an adult film can be a form of role play.”
That’s a brilliant idea! You could watch a film and then reenact your favorite scene. There’s no need to record it, but if you do, it could definitely add some extra heat to your relationship, boosting your intimacy. “It’s a choose-your-own-adventure experience,” Hayes explains. Think of role playing as a refreshing break from typical intimacy. “It’s a chance to explore fantasies and kinks outside your routine. You can be anyone you wish and do anything you desire,” she says.
It’s all about treating role playing like an exciting new game that you both can explore together. Importantly, there’s no right or wrong way to engage. “As long as you prioritize safety and are considerate of each other’s comfort,” Hayes adds.
Role playing doesn’t have to be a grand production with costumes and elaborate setups. You can keep it simple—like pretending to be a character and using playful banter with your partner. However, if you’re interested in more elaborate scenes involving costumes and props, now’s the perfect time to incorporate some fun accessories.
For example, if you’re interested in a college student/professor scenario, you could pick up a trendy outfit and a pair of fake glasses for your partner, Hayes suggests.
I also consulted with Rachel Green, a relationship therapist who runs Couples Candy, a project aimed at fostering happy relationships. She recommends starting with one of my favorite role-play ideas: act as if you’re strangers meeting for the first time.
Here’s how to do it: Plan a date night where you both agree on a time and place to meet. One of you arrives first, dressed in a way that’s quite different from your usual style. When the other arrives, pretend not to recognize each other. Begin flirting, buy each other drinks, and before you know it, you’ll be immersed in this playful game, even if you feel a bit awkward at first.
Just think—if it doesn’t go as planned and you end up laughing at yourselves, that can create a deeper bond and provide a funny story to share later. The best-case scenario? You discover a new way to keep things exciting and steamy in your intimate life simply by stepping into someone else’s shoes for a while.
If you’ve been eager to try this but struggle to bring it up with your partner, consider sharing this article with them. Or, the next time you’re in a public space, sneak up from behind and act as if you don’t know them—you might be pleasantly surprised by how thrilling role playing can be.
For more on this topic, check out this other blog post here. Understanding the nuances of intimacy can also be beneficial, so I recommend visiting this resource for expert insights. If you’re looking to dive deeper into the world of pregnancy and home insemination, this Wikipedia page is an excellent resource.
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In summary, introducing role play into your intimate life can be a thrilling way to rekindle excitement and explore new dimensions of your relationship. Embrace the adventure, and remember that it’s all about having fun and connecting with your partner in fresh ways.