Parenting Insights
I’m genuinely pleased that my son is stepping into the dating world. He has navigated a long and challenging journey toward adulthood, and as his parents, we’ve put in the effort to raise him well. It’s important that we don’t become possessive or controlling now that he’s starting to build a life of his own. We didn’t raise this remarkable young man to keep him on a pedestal for only family to admire.
However, if it were up to me, the young woman who wants to date my son should be someone special. She needs to have her life in order and should not rely solely on her looks, education, intelligence, or social standing to win my approval.
I understand that I may not have the right to make demands, but as a hopeful mom, here’s what I envision for any young woman interested in a relationship with my son:
Be Authentic
It’s essential to be your true self. The way you are with your closest friends should reflect how you are with him. There’s no need to change your personality—whether it’s being more mature, lively, intellectual, or reserved. Just be you.
Embrace Honesty
Be open about what matters—your feelings, preferences, likes and dislikes, and what you desire. Honesty is crucial, not just with him but also with yourself.
Cultivate Self-Confidence
Remember, you didn’t capture his attention through fashion or makeup. Feel free to show up in comfortable clothes, even without makeup. Your inner beauty surpasses any superficial attempts at looking perfect, and you should recognize that.
Practice Self-Awareness
Know yourself better than anyone else. Understand what makes you happy, what frustrates you, your strengths, and the areas where you’re still growing. Don’t let the relationship define who you are; instead, let it inspire you.
Be Responsible
Appreciate the freedom of living in a time where women can pursue their passions. If you find yourself feeling trapped or dissatisfied in the relationship, remember that you hold the power to change that. Your happiness must always come first.
Stay Realistic
You have an entire life ahead of you—don’t make this relationship your entire focus. Enjoy the moments you share, but also ensure there’s room for the friendships, hobbies, and goals you had before you met him.
Practice Patience
Both of you are young, and there’s no perfect roadmap for a relationship. You’ll both stumble at times and continually learn about yourselves. In twenty years, you might look back and recognize the wisdom in this advice (except perhaps the part about being young).
I wish someone had shared this with me in my own dating years. Often, a girl’s world can revolve around her affection for a boy, leading her to lose sight of herself. Don’t sacrifice your identity for someone else’s attention—you are invaluable. If you’re unsure, ask those who love you most; they will tell you I’m right, and they cherish you for who you are, just as my son does.
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Summary
This piece encourages young women interested in dating a specific young man to remain true to themselves, prioritize honesty, and cultivate self-awareness. It emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, enjoying the moment, and being patient in navigating young relationships. The advice serves as a reminder not to lose one’s identity while seeking affection.