After fifteen years of being married (and eighteen years together), my former partner and I chose to part ways. Our relationship was strong for a long time. We share three wonderful children, and there wasn’t much chaos or drama. We rarely fought during our time together. But as time went on, we found ourselves increasingly annoyed with each other, feeling a significant distance growing between us, prompting us to end things before it worsened.
This decision wasn’t made lightly; it took us about six years of trying to rekindle our romance and find some spark again. Ultimately, we wanted to separate while still maintaining some level of connection—friendship, respect, and compassion. This approach has been incredibly beneficial for our co-parenting journey, and we both recognize how fortunate we are to have this kind of relationship now.
However, letting go can be challenging. It’s often easier to move on when someone has done something unforgivable or is primarily responsible for the issues in the relationship. That wasn’t our situation. We both made mistakes, but fundamentally, we simply grew apart. We fell out of love while still caring for one another, and there wasn’t one defining incident that led to our split. Sometimes, love ends quietly without any dramatic closure or hostility.
When I first listened to Kacey Musgraves’ song “Star-Crossed,” it felt like she had crafted it specifically for me; for us. While she didn’t write it for my situation, the way the lyrics resonate makes it feel personal. The chorus struck a chord with me:
What have we done?
Did we fly too high just to get burned by the sun?
No one’s to blame
‘Cause we called all the angels to save us
Called them by name
But I guess they got lost
Star-crossed
Musgraves explained to Elle that the song is about “two people who love each other so much, but they cannot make it work in the physical realm to be together, because it’s just not written in the stars for them.” This notion may seem strange to many—ending a relationship simply because it doesn’t feel right, or because you sense there could be something more out there, or that your time together has run its course.
Society often teaches us to endure, sacrificing our mental well-being for another person, staying until love transforms into resentment to make leaving easier. Yet, as Musgraves sings, “No one’s to blame.”
The entire album, featuring fifteen songs, chronicles her journey through her divorce from her ex-husband, and it’s exceptionally well done. No matter where you are in life—navigating heartbreak, experiencing a divorce, or feeling content—you will connect with the emotions woven throughout her music. It’s compelling, authentic, and evident that it comes straight from her heart. Her performance of “Star-Crossed” at the VMAs this year was stunning—I was blown away. If you haven’t seen it, stop what you’re doing and watch it now; it’s one of those songs that will linger in your mind for a long time.
For more insights on navigating life changes, check out one of our other blog posts here. And if you’re interested in understanding the emotional aspects of parenting and relationships, you can refer to this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article reflects on the emotional journey of divorce, emphasizing the importance of maintaining respect and friendship post-separation. It highlights Kacey Musgraves’ song “Star-Crossed” as a poignant anthem for those experiencing similar situations, resonating deeply with feelings of love lost yet still present. Musgraves’ album serves as a relatable soundtrack for anyone navigating the complexities of love and heartbreak.