Becoming a parent for the first time in 2006 was an awe-inspiring experience that reshaped my life. Over the years, I’ve welcomed a daughter in 2008, married a wonderful man who also has a daughter, and now we’re anticipating our first child together—due in just 78 days. Each addition to our family has made our hearts swell but also introduced new complexities.
Parenting today is undeniably challenging. We grapple with determining the best rules, guidelines, and boundaries for our families, all while feeling the pressure to meet an often-unattainable standard of what a “good parent” should be. This pressure seems to stem from our own minds as well as the endless opinions of others—some solicited, some not. The media doesn’t help, either; following pregnancy yoga instructors on social media can create unrealistic expectations. You’ll often find yourself bombarded with questions that make you question your choices.
- “Are you using cloth diapers?”
- “You should really make your own baby food instead of buying that store-bought stuff.”
- “I’m glad you’re planning to exclusively breastfeed.”
- “Don’t forget to limit screen time!”
- “You’re only taking that much maternity leave?”
- “Studies show it’s better for your baby to be in daycare after X weeks.”
And vaccinations? Let’s not even go there!
What’s amusing is that after nearly a decade since my last child was born, people often assume this is my first baby, which only amplifies the unsolicited advice I receive.
Here’s what I’ve realized: We won’t always get everything right, but parenting is a journey filled with lessons that allow us to adapt and grow. Just when you think you’ve figured out your kids, they change—especially when you’re managing preteens alongside a newborn!
We strive to do our best. Sometimes we stumble, but we get back up and ask ourselves, “What can I learn from this?” We silence the negative chatter from ourselves and those who love to exert ‘suggestive parenting’ on us. We cultivate a sense of confidence in our choices, knowing that our decisions are made with our family’s well-being in mind. We reflect on our own childhood experiences, aiming to create a healthier and more enjoyable environment for our children. After all, isn’t that the goal of every dedicated parent?
Often, we seek validation from others, leaning on their opinions to bolster our self-esteem. Unfortunately, many naysayers can be found among our closest friends or even family members. However, I’ve learned that the only opinion that truly matters is the one we hold for ourselves.
At the end of each day, we must look in the mirror and acknowledge that we did our best, even if that means accepting that we didn’t get it all right. If we falter, that’s okay; tomorrow is another day to try again. Parents everywhere experience difficult days, and having one does not define your abilities as a parent.
So, remember to be gentle with yourself. Embrace the miracle your body is creating. Cherish that growing belly that might make you lose sleep or struggle with balance. Listen to your instincts, and trust that there are no perfect guidebooks for parenting. If you attune yourself to your inner voice, it will guide you on the right path.
This morning, a quote came to mind that I had stumbled upon while searching for parenting tips: “The days are long, but the years are short.” So, savor each moment and let go of the stress of reaching an elusive standard of perfection.
For more insights on navigating the journey of parenthood, consider exploring our other blog posts, such as how to manage a wiggly baby during diaper changes, which offers expert advice on the subject. You can also find valuable resources about pregnancy and home insemination here.
In summary, be compassionate towards yourself as a parent. Embrace the unique journey you and your partner are on, and remember that your experience is yours to shape.