In the realm of stay-at-home parents, particularly mothers, the question of whether their choice is the right one remains a constant source of contemplation. This reflection often emerges during moments that profoundly impact their lives.
I vividly remember the day I made the decision to become a stay-at-home mom. We were living in a remote part of Alaska when I picked up my daughters from daycare. As I engaged in casual conversation with the caregiver, my youngest, Lily, turned and reached back toward her, as if she felt a stronger connection there than with me in that moment. It was a heart-wrenching realization that planted the seed for my future. That evening, while driving home with my little ones, tears streamed down my face. I understood then that my role as their mother could not be fulfilled while I was working outside the home.
After some calculations and planning, I presented my case to my husband, Alex. Surprisingly, he supported my desire to stay home once we relocated—being a military family, we knew change was always on the horizon. Thus, my journey as a stay-at-home mom began, with my girls being just one and two years old. I embraced my responsibilities, from potty training to home organization, and tried to contribute through budgeting and couponing.
However, as the years passed and my daughters transitioned into full-time school, I found myself grappling with a sudden sense of aimlessness. My daily tasks felt trivial—did my worth really hinge on whether we had enough hand soap? The day my husband asked for soap and I found myself in tears was a turning point.
I briefly considered rejoining the workforce, but the realization struck me that my contributions felt inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. I want to encourage my daughters to be independent, self-reliant women, and yet when they express a desire to follow in my footsteps, I struggle to feel the pride I think I should. I don’t want them to question their self-worth or feel left behind.
My own mother taught my sister and me to be strong, independent women, and I aspire to instill the same values in my daughters. Raising my children is undoubtedly my top priority, but I also realized that I can be there for them while pursuing my own passions.
Through reflection, I recognized that my presence is invaluable. I can comfort my children when they’re unwell and share precious moments with them that many working parents long for. Nevertheless, I still find myself questioning how quickly time passes and where it all goes.
Being an example to my daughters is equally important. I’ve shown them kindness, empathy, and practical skills like cooking. Now, as they grow older, I aim to demonstrate what self-pride looks like, and I secretly hope they feel proud of their mom too.
To achieve this balance, I turned to freelance writing and blogging—a perfect fit. This opportunity allows me to express my creativity, work on my own schedule, and still be available for my family. Writing has reignited my purpose, filling my mind with ideas every night as I drift off to sleep. Now, as I pen this piece, my daughters are at the table creating their own blogs, a beautiful reflection of our shared journey.
In summary, while being a stay-at-home parent can sometimes lead to feelings of insignificance, it also provides unparalleled opportunities to nurture and instill values in the next generation. Finding a personal passion outside of motherhood, like writing, can bring fulfillment and set an inspiring example for our children.