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I’m Not Allocating an Allowance or Paying My Kids to Clean Up After Themselves
As a parent who entered the allowance discussion quite late—my eldest child is now eleven—I have deliberately chosen not to provide any monetary compensation for chores like cleaning their rooms, loading the dishwasher, or tidying up the constant mess that seems to occupy every inch of our home. After years of threatening with garbage bags, my children have learned to fulfill these requests promptly, knowing my patience can evaporate in seconds.
To start paying them for these tasks now would feel counterproductive. I recognize the importance of teaching my children about financial responsibility, saving, and the value of money, but honestly, I’m still navigating those waters myself.
When I consult parenting experts, they suggest that I should give my children a weekly allowance—let’s say five dollars—but emphasize that this money isn’t a reward for chores, as chores are integral to family life. So essentially, the allowance would be for the mere act of being a child? It seems like a sweet deal.
According to these experts, children can save their allowances for items like bicycles or musical instruments—or, in my daughter’s case, potentially a giant vat of paint to swim in. I see the logic here; kids learn about the worth of items and that money is a tangible resource that ought to be saved rather than squandered on whims inspired by social media ads.
However, in practice, this is how financial exchanges typically unfold in my household:
Me: “I’ll give you a dollar if you ride over to the neighbor’s and grab some eggs.”
Child: “Deal!”
Then we both forget about the dollar until we’re at the store, where my child suddenly remembers, and I end up buying random items like markers. Parenting experts would likely cringe at this scenario. Clearly, I’m not executing this whole parenting thing correctly.
I didn’t grow up with an allowance. Living in a remote area, there was little opportunity to spend money. My desires—bikes, instruments, clothing—were gifts for birthdays or holidays. This may explain my relaxed approach toward allowances and money management, as well as my overall perspective on life. However, I did take on summer jobs from the age of fourteen, learning early on that earning a degree was essential to avoid undesirable work experiences like washing dishes at a restaurant.
I understand that providing an allowance could facilitate my children’s understanding of financial concepts, but I just can’t seem to keep up with the logistics of distributing money weekly or tracking chore-related payments. I’m simply not that organized, and I apologize for it. My children may ultimately need to find jobs when they’re older, experiencing money management as I did—perhaps through less-than-glamorous tasks like washing plates in a restaurant kitchen.
There are times I wish I were a more responsible adult, capable of adhering to the guidance provided by experts—keeping my vehicle tidy, organizing kitchenware, paying bills promptly, and yes, giving my children allowances. Just yesterday, I mistakenly washed a potato in the laundry. How does that even occur?
Admittedly, I could improve my efforts in teaching my children about money, and I too have lessons to learn. Instilling the value of a dollar in my kids could prevent them from developing an Amazon shopping habit or feeling anxious when entering stores like Target.
For now, however, I won’t be giving my children money for tasks that they should be doing as part of our family responsibilities. Not because of expert advice, but simply because I don’t want to.
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Summary
In this article, Mia Thompson discusses her decision not to pay her children for completing household chores. Despite recognizing the importance of teaching financial responsibility, she feels overwhelmed by the logistics of managing an allowance. Reflecting on her own upbringing and experiences, she concludes that her children will learn about money in their own time, emphasizing that family responsibilities shouldn’t come with a price tag.