Currently, I find myself in between jobs, a situation that arose through no fault of my own—ah, the irony of layoffs. The kids are back in school, we’ve adjusted to our new routine, and for three days a week, my schedule is entirely open. It’s all good though. I write, tackle the clutter in the basement, and whip up a plethora of nutritious snacks. (I even add raisins to my chocolate chip cookies—because why not include some fruit? They taste amazing! Plus, with no one else in my family touching them, that means more healthy treats for me!)
I also spend a fair amount of time lounging on the couch, “resting, rejuvenating, and reviving myself”—which translates to binge-watching TV. I tend to stick to traditional television and avoid on-demand apps. There’s something enjoyable about flipping through channels and discovering unexpected gems. This, of course, means I endure a fair share of commercials. As a creature of habit, I’m accustomed to those annoying breaks that allow me to dash to the bathroom, snack on a healthy cookie, or shuffle around laundry.
One commercial, in particular, caught my attention and left me bewildered. For a moment, I felt as if I had time-traveled back to the mid-1980s, reminiscent of “Peggy Sue Got Married.” The culprit? An advertisement showcasing the “must-have” fall trend: stirrup pants.
I distinctly remember stirrup pants from their original heyday—back in junior high, when every girl seemed to possess at least one pair. The burning question of the day was whether to wear socks inside or outside those pants. The majority opted for the outside look, creating a tucked-in aesthetic that concealed the stirrup strap. Regardless of how you styled them, there was no mistaking who was sporting stirrup pants. If you were among the socks-inside crowd, you were slightly less trendy, but at least everyone knew you were wearing stirrups, and that was what counted.
While I’m sure stirrup pants have undergone some kind of modern makeover, let’s be honest: there’s really little that can be done to enhance them. They are what they are—similar to a bra. You can lace it up, change the color, but it ultimately remains a bra with limited variations.
Moreover, stirrup pants are absurdly uncomfortable. In the commercial, the model struts confidently in heels, portraying stirrup pants as the pinnacle of fashion. I know better. The stirrup strap wraps around her foot’s arch, a thick elastic band that barely stretches. Every step she takes pulls her pants further down, forcing her to awkwardly hike them back up, which is hardly a glamorous sight.
Let’s not forget, the feet are packed with nerve endings, making them ticklish and sensitive. This is precisely why enduring those stirrup straps for more than a few minutes is unbearable. It’s akin to having a sock seam digging into your toes, regardless of how you adjust it.
At this point in my life, I have no desire to revisit that discomfort. The only elastic I want on my pants is around the waist. As junior high girls, we eventually grew tired of the annoying stirrup sensation and wore the pants with the straps flapping behind us. It looked odd, but it was comfortable, and before long, that became the trend.
Once the stirrup pant phase faded, they were quickly deemed unfashionable. Wearing them the following year was a surefire way to lose your cool factor. I suspect this latest fashion revival will meet a similar fate—not just due to discomfort, but because the term “stirrup” now conjures thoughts of medical visits. Those of us who lived through the original stirrup pant craze are unlikely to embrace a trend that reminds us of doctor’s offices and “scooting to the end of the table.”
This article was first published on October 7, 2014.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Jamie Thompson shares her disdain for the resurgence of stirrup pants, reminiscing about their original popularity during junior high. She highlights the discomfort associated with stirrup pants and predicts a short-lived return to this outdated trend, emphasizing how the association with medical visits tarnishes their appeal.