The internet has an uncanny ability to embolden people to voice their opinions on topics they often know little about. It only takes one seemingly harmless comment on a friend’s social media post for the shaming to commence. Well, to the internet, I say: I refuse to accept your shame.
With my upcoming child, I will be opting for a scheduled C-section, just as I did for my firstborn. And here’s the truth: that does not make me any less of a good mother. While some women choose scheduled C-sections for various personal reasons, and the rate of these procedures is indeed high, the reasons behind their decisions are none of your business.
My Story
Let me share my story to provide some context. When I was pregnant with my first child, I presented a detailed birth plan to my obstetrician during our 35-week appointment. This plan included walking around the hospital, taking warm showers, and minimizing medical interventions. My doctor was supportive until the ultrasound revealed that my son, Oliver, was not only breech but also “jackknifed,” meaning he was stuck in an awkward position that made vaginal delivery impossible. Despite trying everything—from lying on an ironing board with my head down to placing a pack of frozen peas on him to encourage movement—he remained stuck.
I will never forget the gravity in my doctor’s expression during the ultrasound. After a tense silence, she said, “I don’t think you’ll be able to achieve the birth you envisioned; we’re going to need to perform a C-section.” Zach and I felt a rush of relief when she reassured us that the baby was fine, just unable to move. Our immediate reaction was simply, “Oh, is THAT all?”
The experience of that C-section can only be described as intense, akin to the climactic scenes of an action film. Two nurses had to assist in maneuvering my very stuck baby out of me while I was being cut open.
Yet, judgment abounds on social media. When you assume that my doctor was taking an easy route, you fail to grasp the significant struggle that surgery entailed. You don’t realize that when Zach asked our doctor what would have happened in a different era, she quietly responded, “They both would have died in labor.” All you see is “scheduled C-section” and jump to conclusions.
My Second Child
With my second child, I went into labor at just 29 weeks—exactly where I stand now in this pregnancy. My journey involved multiple hospital visits, bed rest, and medication to halt contractions. When my water broke at 36 weeks, my medical team fully supported my desire to attempt a vaginal birth after C-section (VBAC). However, after observing signs of stress in the baby, my doctor recommended a C-section, and I agreed without hesitation.
I realized then that if I were to have another child, a planned C-section was inevitable, and I am at peace with that decision. I have undergone two C-sections: one with a horizontal incision and one with a vertical cut. To risk complications like tearing or severe bleeding seems reckless to me. I have two wonderful boys who need their mother, and a baby girl on the way who just wants to arrive safely. I doubt she cares how she makes her entrance, only that she does.
So, to the internet, I firmly reject your shame. I wouldn’t even be here to nurture my children if it weren’t for a timely scheduled C-section—one that was arranged just as my contractions were two minutes apart when I checked in with Oliver.
We can never fully understand another person’s reasons for choosing a C-section, nor is it our place to judge. The most appropriate response is to acknowledge that the well-being of both mother and baby is what truly matters. A simple smile and congratulations are all that are needed.
Conclusion
In conclusion, every mother’s journey is unique, and it’s essential to embrace and support each other’s choices in motherhood. For more insights into the complexities of pregnancy and options like at-home insemination, visit this excellent resource on pregnancy here. You can also explore options for self insemination through the home insemination kit which provides valuable information and tools. As a trusted authority on this topic, Intracervical Insemination offers further guidance for those considering their options.