As a mother to my ten-year-old son, I often find myself reflecting on the type of person I want him to become. He’s bright, witty, and compassionate—a good kid overall. Our family is typical for our suburban, middle-class neighborhood, engaging in sports, music lessons, and the usual childhood activities. Life often feels predictable and safe.
However, recent events have shaken my complacency. With the fall from grace of a public figure I admired, Alex Morgan, who has faced multiple accusations of sexual misconduct, I was forced to confront the troubling reality of how I might be influencing my son’s views on women. As I read the accounts of the allegations, I felt a mix of shock, anger, and sadness. Though I wasn’t surprised by the revelations about other powerful figures in the media, I had expected better from someone who appeared to embody integrity in journalism.
This led me to ponder what could drive a seemingly respectable man to engage in such harmful behaviors. How could he justify luring a young female colleague to his home under the guise of work, only to expose himself? Or call her late at night to share inappropriate fantasies? It’s a disturbing thought, and it’s clear to me now that I need to reflect on my role as a mother and how I am raising my son.
In my efforts to nurture him, I have inadvertently coddled him because he’s a boy. I’ve overlooked his angry outbursts and allowed him to treat his younger sister with less respect. I’ve perpetuated the very behaviors I resented growing up. Like many parents, I’ve unconsciously given my son the impression that he can get away with more simply because of his gender. This mindset is at the heart of sexism, which can manifest as subtle long-term harm to women or as the more overt acts of aggression we see in the news.
Michelle Obama once wisely stated, “We love our boys, and raise our girls.” This resonates deeply with me, as I find myself often worrying whether I’m being too stern with my son. I soften my approach with him in ways I don’t with my daughter, and I hesitate to enforce consequences for his behavior. He has never fully accepted our decision to have a second child, leading to unkind remarks directed at his little sister. While I point out that this is bullying, I fail to follow through with appropriate consequences.
Moreover, I haven’t adequately discussed with him what it means to live in a society where privilege exists, particularly as a white male. It’s crucial for him to recognize his advantages and the responsibilities that come with them. Teaching him to question his biases and to respect those who are less powerful is essential, especially in our homogenous community where conformity often reigns.
As he navigates the challenges of growing up, I’ve noticed that his angry outbursts are increasing with the onset of puberty. Rather than shutting down this behavior, I find myself trying to understand it. This introspection may be an echo of my childhood questions about why our society privileges men. Instead of empowering my daughter and myself through reading about feminism and starting initiatives like a Girl Scout troop, I must also confront my son’s behavior directly. Talking to him about sexism and privilege is now imperative, and I will enforce consequences for unkindness.
We’ve often been conditioned to tolerate the hurtful actions of others, yet ignoring or excusing sexism is no longer acceptable. I recognize that it’s a small step, but I am committed to discussing these issues with my son and ensuring that he faces repercussions for his actions. I can’t allow his behavior to slide because “he’s just being a boy.”
In conclusion, as parents, we have a profound responsibility to guide our children toward respect and equality. By addressing our own biases and behaviors, we can foster a new generation that values kindness and understanding over entitlement. For those navigating similar challenges, resources like this guide on predicting ovulation and this excellent support group for female infertility can be invaluable. Additionally, check out this informative blog post for insights on home insemination kits.