I often feel as though my home is divided into two distinct areas. In certain spaces like the living room, kitchen, and my bedroom, my obsession with cleanliness is on full display—everything must be perfectly organized. Then there are other parts of the house, primarily my kids’ rooms and their bathroom, where my influence fades away.
A few years back, I came to a realization: my attempts to control the appearance of my children’s spaces were stifling their personalities. Worse yet, this obsession was taking a toll on my well-being. For my kids, maintaining a spotless environment isn’t a priority. The more I tried to enforce my standards, the more conflicts arose, leading me to understand just how trivial it all really is.
Currently, my son is busy starting countless trees in his room. He collects strawberry tops, avocado pits, and acorns from our yard for his little project. This has resulted in us purchasing numerous pots, piling bags of dirt in the garage, and consistently having something drying on my windowsill.
My daughter’s love for her two pet ducks is another source of chaos. People warned me about the mess ducks create, and they were absolutely right. Their droppings are sizeable, and they love to lounge on the front porch. Feathers are everywhere, and they require lots of water, meaning there’s typically a kiddie pool set up in the yard or on the back deck. The amount of splashed water is astonishing.
Then there’s my oldest, who enjoys tinkering with his truck and four-wheeler. The garage is cluttered with tools, dirty rags, and car parts that occupy the space where a vehicle should be parked.
As a neat freak, all of this drives me crazy. It’s difficult for me to concentrate in a messy environment; it makes me anxious and uncomfortable. However, my kids clearly didn’t inherit my cleanliness obsession. They don’t mind leaving things out, from dirty clothes to their latest slime creations. My daughter prefers to have her makeup scattered across her vanity instead of neatly organized, and all of them feel comfortable leaving their bathroom products out in the open.
I did have to set a limit when my daughter cut her hair and taped it to the back of her door, which I suspect was a test of my patience. However, I understand that I need to overlook certain things because it’s vital for children to express themselves and feel at ease in their own spaces.
The other day, when I pulled into the driveway, I saw my son transplanting his trees into our backyard. He was watering cardboard he had been saving to break down for his garden. While I’m not thrilled about the dirt on his carpet, his room gets amazing light, and he has cultivated some impressive plants.
Watching him work outside made all my anxious feelings worthwhile. My daughter has found immense joy in caring for her ducks. They have helped her cope with anxiety during COVID, and she takes full responsibility for their care, rarely needing a reminder to clean their area. It’s taught her valuable lessons, including how to prevent them from making a mess on the porch.
I admire how knowledgeable my son is about fixing engines. Although I wish he would tidy up his tools and oil-stained rags, he can usually troubleshoot any issues with our lawn mowers or snow blowers.
I know that soon enough, their messy rooms will be a thing of the past. I won’t come home to find my son working on his truck or my youngest transplanting who-knows-what in the backyard. My daughter’s makeup won’t be scattered everywhere, and I’ll finally have the chance to redecorate their rooms and keep things tidy.
That thought makes me feel more uneasy than the mess itself because it signals that they will no longer be living here, leaving me with a sense of loss. So, I try to keep quiet and let the feelings of anxiety wash over me when I spot trails of dirt, duck food, or watermelon seeds on my countertops.
I want my children to explore their true passions in life, and I can support their growth by easing up on my standards for a clean home. After all, their interests and happiness are far more important than perfectly organized spaces.
This article originally appeared on July 1, 2021. For more insights, check out one of our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, for authoritative information on this topic, visit Intracervical Insemination or explore Women’s Health on Pregnancy, an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
To sum it up
It’s crucial to balance the need for a tidy home with letting kids express themselves. Embracing their messy hobbies can lead to growth and joy, even if it makes me a bit anxious.