My six-year-old daughter is currently in the first grade. Each day after school, I eagerly sift through her backpack to review any worksheets or papers requiring my signature.
Last night, a specific paper piqued my interest. My first thought was, “Wow, her handwriting is fantastic! She’s really improving!” However, upon closer inspection, I noticed she lost a point for neglecting to put a period at the end of her sentence. “Interesting,” I mused. “Her work was nearly perfect aside from that tiny punctuation mistake.”
This morning, while chatting with my sister about my daughter’s assignment and the trivial period issue, I expressed my irritation. “You know, it’s not a huge deal, but isn’t it a bit frustrating that she received a minus one? Her handwriting was flawless. Her spelling was spot on. Everything was great except for that pesky period.” After a moment of silence, my wise sister offered her perspective:
“Sure, she did a wonderful job. But here’s the thing, Jenna — that minus one sets the expectation that there are areas that need improvement. And that’s perfectly okay! It’s all part of the learning process, which is exactly what school is for. I understand you want them to excel, but wouldn’t it be better to teach our children that they don’t have to be perfect? It’s about growth, not flawlessness.”
Wow. That hit home.
In that moment, I realized that while my instinct as a parent was to protect my daughter, I almost overlooked an important lesson. As parents, we naturally want to shield our children and make them feel exceptional. However, it’s crucial to teach them that perfection isn’t the expectation. Setting unattainably high standards can lead to feelings of failure and self-doubt.
We need to instill in our kids the understanding that there’s always room for self-improvement and that making mistakes is a normal part of life. It’s unreasonable to expect a six-year-old to achieve perfection, just as it’s unreasonable to think a first-grade teacher can ignore mistakes and focus solely on strengths. We don’t have all the answers, and that’s okay.
What’s truly difficult? Everything.
What’s simple? Nothing.
Who gets everything right on the first try? No one!
The only way we learn is by acknowledging our errors.
My sister chose to respond to my frustration with honesty and constructive advice. It would have been easier for her to agree with me, but she prioritized teaching me a more significant lesson over protecting my feelings. If my daughter hadn’t been made aware of that missing period, she might have forgotten it in future assignments. Her teacher acted appropriately, and hopefully, next time she will remember her punctuation. And if she happens to forget again (because everyone makes mistakes), I’ll be better equipped to handle it thanks to my sister’s insight.
This was a valuable wake-up call, reminding me that mistakes are part of the learning journey. No matter how old we get, our siblings or family can still impart wisdom.
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Summary:
In reflecting on my daughter’s first-grade project, I initially felt upset about the teacher’s grading of a minor punctuation error. However, after a conversation with my sister, I realized the importance of teaching children that mistakes are part of learning and growth. It’s essential for parents to set realistic expectations for their children, emphasizing improvement over perfection.