I consider myself one of the fortunate few. The privilege is evident, and I can feel it radiating from my middle-class, educated background. As I write this, I find myself reflecting on the inadequacies of paid family leave in this country while preparing to express my frustrations.
I am fortunate because my employer offers me at least the minimum unpaid leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). I am also lucky to receive three weeks of paid leave. Plus, I had the option to take an additional unpaid leave after my FMLA time had expired due to exceptional circumstances. My job wasn’t guaranteed during this period, but I’m grateful to work with individuals who support me.
I thought I had everything planned out. I took the steps that many privileged individuals do: I saved money and strategically scheduled my pregnancy (again, fortunate!) so that there would be a few months without daycare costs, which was intended to offset the unpaid time during my maternity leave. I planned to be off work for the typical 12 weeks during a less demanding period at the office.
Then, my son, Max, arrived two months premature after I had already been hospitalized for two weeks. By the time I finished my maternity leave, he had only been home for a month. I’m fortunate to have had options to extend my unpaid leave, allowing me not to return to work while he was still in the hospital. Sadly, many mothers face the challenge of managing a NICU baby while also needing to return to work. For those who are lucky, they might find they can squeeze in some maternity leave after their baby finally comes home.
So, what’s the issue?
Despite my good fortune, I recently glanced at my year-end pay stub and noticed that I earned 20% less than the previous year. Like most women, I returned from maternity leave with no sick days or vacation time left. Sure, I’m fortunate to have those benefits, but it doesn’t change the reality. I placed my tiny baby into daycare—a place I sometimes view as a necessary evil—and went back to work, all while grappling with the health issues and trauma from his early arrival.
It’s not surprising what happened next. I had my own appointments, Max had his, and soon he was sick, leading to more illness for everyone in the family. Despite my attempts to be responsible, I couldn’t keep up with the sick time drain.
Then, last week, Max contracted respiratory syncytial virus, followed by bronchiolitis. I spent a sleepless night at the hospital, holding him as he struggled to breathe, his body wracked with coughs and pain. I started the week with six hours of sick leave left, and now I have none. I only received pay for 28 hours last week. Yet, I am still “lucky.”
I am grateful for my job and that I still have employment. I recognize that it could be so much worse; other parents face the agonizing decision of choosing between their jobs and remaining with their sick children in the hospital. Many parents return to work after only a few days of “maternity leave” just to provide for their families. Other children are delayed in receiving necessary healthcare because their parents cannot afford to leave work without risking their jobs.
The ability to care for our children—be it partners or parents—should not be regarded as a privilege; it should be a fundamental expectation. Some may argue that if we weren’t prepared to face the consequences, we shouldn’t have had children. I reject that logic.
There’s so much to unpack here that I can’t cover every aspect. The costs associated with healthcare, daycare, and insufficient parental leave are interconnected, creating a system that ultimately fails the very children who will contribute to our society. The idea that 12 weeks of unpaid leave is adequate to bond with a newborn, especially one born prematurely, is absurd. We’re spending tax money and emotional resources addressing the public health repercussions that result from this inadequacy.
In summary, my baby arrived early, I earned 20% less last year, and I spent last week caring for him while he battled a difficult illness. I consider myself fortunate to still have my job, but it’s time we rethink what “luck” really means in this context.
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