As a working mom with little ones, my nights are often disrupted by tiny bodies gathering around me at odd hours. This leads to one child waking up, which triggers a chain reaction until we’re all wide awake and ready to start the day. About half an hour to an hour later, the alarm goes off (co-sleeping wasn’t my choice; it chose me). Mornings can be peaceful or turn into a whirlwind of sibling squabbles by 6 a.m.
Between feeding, dressing, and brushing everyone else’s teeth, my own morning “self-care” is limited to a quick teeth brushing followed by a full-speed dash to gather all the essentials to get everyone out the door on time. After work, I face the chaotic rush hour traffic that leads straight into the dinner hour. Is it just my kids who dread dinner? The evening then drifts into an exhausting routine of reading, baths, pajamas, brushing teeth, tidying up, preparing for the next day, and completing the chores that keep our home running. By 9 p.m., everyone is asleep, and the house is slightly less chaotic.
And then comes the big question: What now?
Parenting magazines and blogs often describe this hour as precious “me” time, suggesting a glass of wine, a bubble bath, or some mindless TV show. Is this the time when Pinterest projects are whipped up at other people’s homes? Honestly, that just doesn’t cut it for me, and I think we need to address this before we moms lose ourselves in the daily grind of caring for everyone else.
I’ve realized that with my kids mostly sleeping through the night, I’m no longer too exhausted to think about my own needs. I feel restless and energized, like I’m stretching beyond my current self. Just soaking in a bubble bath feels like a temporary fix for a deeper need that won’t heal without meaningful “me” time. I want to nourish my spirit after the monotonous tasks of adulting and parenting. I’m navigating this new chapter of my life and need the space to rediscover who I am. I don’t just want to read the next bestseller; I want to pen it myself.
Finding that elusive state of flow is challenging. I miss diving into projects that leave me feeling fulfilled and accomplished. I crave the opportunity to engage in work I love without constantly glancing at the clock, worrying about pick-ups or dinner preparations. I need to reclaim my “me” time in a way that feels authentic, and here’s how I’m doing it:
1. Stealing Time from Sleep (a risky move)
Toni Morrison used to rise before her kids to write. I’m more of a night owl, often staying up way too late. However, sacrificing sleep in an already short day is a dangerous gamble. Managing a household is like balancing a precarious tower of cards; pulling out sleep could lead to a collapse into exhaustion and burnout. Still, some nights, I take a calculated risk for a purpose-driven late-night session.
2. Taking Time from Work (when feasible)
My days are filled with work and parenting, so carving out personal time means sacrificing something else. Have you ever taken a vacation day just for yourself? I’m going to give it a shot. Yes, we often take time off for sick kids or unexpected school closures. My job is demanding, but I’m scheduling time for myself just like I would for any important appointment. My spirit is craving nourishment, and I need to prioritize it.
3. Finding Time from Parenting (without the guilt)
The workday is long, and weekends are a flurry of activities and chores. It’s tough to steal away time from my kids because I already feel guilty about not seeing them enough. Nevertheless, I’m choosing to do it anyway, guilt-free as much as possible. Before kids, I had all the time in the world. Now, I’m reclaiming a small portion of that. One night a week, I don’t spend time with my kids. There, I said it. On Fridays, I stay late at work to wrap up my week, then head to candlelight restorative yoga. If you can, maybe take a breather at a friend’s place, lying on their floor with your eyes closed for an hour (essentially restorative yoga). Occasionally, I’ll sneak away to a coffee shop to write or take a solo walk to gather my thoughts. You deserve to claim your own time at least once a week. Frankly, you deserve much more than that because parenting is tough, but I understand that finding a babysitter can be tricky.
To all the parents of infants out there, you’re navigating a unique kind of chaos, but trust that you will make it through. When you’re buried under diapers and late-night feedings, remember to check in with yourself and ensure you’re still in there. You need this time, and the world needs you too. Don’t lose sight of the passions and dreams that motivated you before parenthood. Whether it’s creating art, connecting with friends, or simply enjoying your favorite music, don’t forget that person inside you who still craves time for herself and far more than just a bubble bath. Remember to put on your own oxygen mask first. You have a spark within you, and it’s never too late to let it shine.
For more insights on self-care and parenting, check out this blog post here. If you’re seeking authoritative information on this topic, visit this resource. For those considering pregnancy options, this site offers excellent information on IVF and fertility services.
In summary, reclaiming “me” time is essential for all parents. It’s not just about bubble baths or a glass of wine; it’s about nurturing your spirit and rediscovering who you are beyond parenting. You deserve that time, and it’s time to prioritize it.