“Is it just me, or do other parents find it bizarre when they kiss their kids on the lips?” This was a genuine question I posed to my partner during my first pregnancy. My perspective was quite straightforward: lips are for romantic partners. Period. I had no idea there was another side to this discussion, and I couldn’t visualize myself kissing my child in that way.
“My intention is to kiss our kids on the lips,” he responded, viewing it as a completely normal expression of love. Assuming my husband came from an unusually affectionate family, I decided to reach out to some mom friends for their thoughts. To my surprise, I learned that I was the odd one out; most parents were perfectly comfortable kissing their kids on the lips.
Perhaps my upbringing influenced my views. My family wasn’t particularly touchy-feely. While I still share goodnight hugs with my parents and occasionally sit on my mother’s lap just to tease her, displays of affection were limited. I could count on one hand the number of times my father kissed me on the cheek, and I was fine with that—it felt normal to me, and I never doubted his love.
I had always thought kissing children on the lips wasn’t wrong; it was simply something I hadn’t experienced. As I transitioned into motherhood, I began to grapple with beliefs I hadn’t previously considered, ultimately needing to take a stance on the matter.
When my daughter arrived—healthy, happy, and irresistibly cuddly—I adored holding her, hugging her, and showering her with kisses on her cheeks, forehead, and even her tiny toes. Yet, kissing her on the lips still felt strange to me. That was until she initiated it herself.
In a whirlwind of first-time motherhood experiences, everything changed. She was nearing her first birthday, crawling and laughing, full of joy. During one of her independent play sessions, she crawled over to me, looked up with a smile, and planted a big, drooly kiss right on my lips. This moment became a vivid memory—the first time she expressed affection in that way. Until then, I thought we were both content with our arrangement of no lip kisses, but she had different ideas.
That moment shifted my perspective entirely. It was one of many instances where my children’s actions challenged my pre-existing beliefs. She turned my world upside down, and when things settled, I realized there was nothing odd about kissing my kids on the lips. I would never pressure them to show affection if they were uncomfortable, but now, kissing each other felt like a natural expression of love.
Fast forward to today—my once drooly baby is now 5, and her little brother is 4. I regularly kiss both of them on the lips, and none of us finds it strange. If that seems unusual to you, I completely understand. We all establish our boundaries for various reasons. And if it feels normal to you, I can relate to that too—now.
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In summary, what once seemed strange to me has evolved into a cherished expression of love within my family. Kissing my kids on the lips has become a natural part of our relationship, reflecting the unique bond we share.