On Easter evening, I discovered my 13-year-old son, Lucas, smoking marijuana under our backyard deck. I had just gone to bed after asking him to come up and say goodnight, assuming he was in the kitchen grabbing a snack. However, when I heard coughing from below my bedroom window, I peeked outside while brushing my teeth and saw his bare legs and a lighter. It hit me hard.
Lucas has always been a cautious child, wanting to maintain control over his surroundings. A few years back, he fell hard trying to master a jump while skiing, and even though he got back up, he hasn’t attempted another jump since. He often expresses his fears about breaking bones or getting hurt. “I don’t need to do all that fancy stuff. It’s not worth it to me,” he says.
Given his responsible nature, excellent grades, and tendency not to carry cash, I never imagined I’d be facing this issue so soon. I was mistaken.
I’ve followed all the parenting guidelines regarding drugs and addiction. I’ve had conversations with him about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes since he was little. I tell him I love him every day, multiple times. I strive to connect with him about his feelings, friends, and experiences. Our home has open communication, and my kids know they can talk to me about anything.
While I don’t smoke pot myself, I don’t judge those who do. I believe in the right to use it, especially if it helps with medical issues or anxiety. I supported the legalization of marijuana for recreational use in our state, but my perspective shifts when it comes to my 13-year-old son.
Seeing my son, a young teenager, high was a wake-up call. As he stood there with bloodshot eyes, lecturing me about how “It’s just a plant, Mom,” and “It’s not a big deal — it’s like medicine,” I realized that the legality of marijuana carries significant responsibility. We need to be mindful when discussing this topic with teenagers, reminding them that they are too young to experiment, regardless of its legal status.
I understand that experimentation is a part of growing up, and I know my son isn’t a delinquent, but that doesn’t make his actions acceptable or healthy. They pick up on the casual attitudes many people have towards marijuana and might think it’s harmless.
Lucas admitted that this was not his first time using marijuana. While looking at me with half-closed eyes, he confessed, “I feel like this helps me. I like the way it makes me feel, but I also feel like maybe I am ruining my life.” He showed me his stash, the pipe, and the lighter, revealing that he had obtained marijuana from a classmate. It was as if he wanted to explore this path but also sought a way out. Teenagers struggle to process their feelings about such choices; their minds are still developing.
I embraced him tightly, expressing gratitude for his honesty and assuring him we would navigate this together. After he showered, I addressed the situation seriously. While I appreciated his openness, I made it clear that his actions were inappropriate for a 13-year-old. I enforced a month-long punishment that included no friends, phone, or social media, and he would spend his spring vacation working with his father.
I know he might resent me for this, but I also believe he loves me for it. As I observe my son experimenting with a substance he doesn’t fully understand, I am reminded that marijuana is still a drug with potential harmful effects on developing minds. The normalization of marijuana may encourage younger experimentation, and we must be cautious with our messages about it.
I’m not blaming others for this situation, but I do think we need to be careful when discussing the “positive” aspects of marijuana with our children. It’s crucial to communicate that such discussions are meant for adults, not adolescents.
I’m uncertain if I’m handling this situation correctly, and opinions on my approach may vary. However, as a fellow parent, I want to emphasize that our children are absorbing the casual attitudes surrounding marijuana use, and it’s time for us to have earnest conversations about it.
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Summary:
The writer reflects on the discovery of their 13-year-old son using marijuana, despite having a relaxed attitude towards recreational use. They share their parenting efforts to educate their child about drug use and emphasize the importance of clear communication regarding the risks associated with marijuana. The article highlights the complexities of parenting in a world where the legality of substances like marijuana can lead to misunderstandings among teenagers.