I have a deep affection for caffeine that makes me feel like I’d rather endure a heart race than part with my beloved beverage. Last week, I put this to the test. For most of my life, I have dealt with heart PVCs—those harmless yet pesky “extra beats” that can sometimes occur, especially when I indulge in too much caffeine, alcohol, exercise, or stress.
A few weeks back, I found myself juggling most of those stressors and made the regrettable choice of downing a large glass of iced tea while enjoying a fun day out with my 5-year-old. We decided to skip our regular activities and treat ourselves to pedicures at a place that offers complimentary M&Ms. Quick tip for retailers: forget expensive ads; just put out free candy, and I’ll be in your store buying things I don’t need.
As I sat there, getting my toes pampered and munching on M&Ms (yes, more caffeine!), my heart started acting up. PVCs began to hit every 20 minutes—a new experience for me. Stress followed, leading to more PVCs, which drove me to consume even more chocolate in a misguided attempt to soothe my anxiety. In that pedicure chair, I learned two harsh truths about myself: 1) the more I try to stay calm, the more I panic, and 2) I have zero self-control when it comes to free candy, even if it feels like my heart is going to give out.
It was the least relaxing pedicure of my life. Thankfully, the following day, I had a doctor’s appointment where I learned that my heart was in good shape, but she casually mentioned, “Welcome to getting older”—thanks a lot, doc. She recommended that I cut back on caffeine, as it clearly triggered my PVCs. Telling me to give up caffeine was like asking me to stop breathing or to stop eating altogether. I left the office dreading how to break this news to my family.
Food, air, caffeine—apparently, these are the pillars of my happiness on this planet. Without caffeine, I turned into a grouchy shadow of myself, spreading my misery to everyone around me. I grew to loathe kittens, babies, and even the sun, which felt like it was trying to burn my retinas. At one point, while battling a pounding headache and extreme fatigue on my first caffeine-free day, I convinced myself that my heart’s irregularities were the least of my worries.
Yet, I soldiered on because, if something were to happen to me, my husband would be lost managing our daily lives. I persevered for six long days. I can only imagine my kids recalling these six days in therapy sessions years down the line: “Doc, I think I developed a startle reflex during the week my mom gave up caffeine.” or “I think the twitch in my eye started when my mom thought we could all survive without her chai tea.”
Finally, after six days, I realized we all needed a break. I craved that comforting warm cup in my hand, that promise of normalcy in just 20 to 30 minutes. I needed to invigorate my central nervous system, and I had to admit to myself that I was addicted—and I was okay with that.
I did manage to significantly reduce my caffeine intake, and thankfully, I haven’t experienced any PVCs since, which gives me hope. I’ll keep a watchful eye on my health and be a responsible adult, but I can’t promise that I’ll ever completely give it up again. Life is too brief not to enjoy the little pleasures, and for me, caffeine is one of them. I still love you, caffeine, and I’m sorry for our spat.
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In summary, my brief hiatus from caffeine revealed just how much I rely on it for my daily joy. While I’ve learned to cut back, I can’t imagine a life completely devoid of my beloved brew.