There I was, in the bathroom, attempting to attach a pad to my underwear when my young child burst in and exclaimed, “Oh! Mommy’s wearing diapers?!” The reality, however, is that I’m not on my period; I’m dealing with a weak pelvic floor that I thought Kegels would fix.
Every time I cough, sneeze, laugh too hard, jump on a trampoline, shout, jog, run, or even just yawn, my bladder seems to misbehave, resulting in embarrassing little accidents. After giving birth to my first child naturally and undergoing an emergency C-section with my second, my body didn’t recover as the parenting books had promised. I was advised to do yoga, strengthen my core, and practice Kegels religiously. I even heard that experiencing leaks when sneezing is just part of motherhood and I should simply accept it.
But at 37, I’m definitely not ready to start buying Poise pads in bulk. So, like any sensible person, I assessed my situation and realized that Kegels were not effective for me. Shedding my embarrassment, I took to social media and reached out to my mom friends: “Be honest, do you also have accidents?” I was pleasantly surprised to find that each of them had their own cringe-worthy stories about leaking after a sneeze or a fit of laughter.
Feeling reassured that I wasn’t alone, I turned to the internet for solutions. That’s when I discovered that the original advice from a 1940s gynecologist named Arnold Kegel, who famously directed women to lie down and flex their vaginal muscles around his fingers, is based on outdated and incorrect information regarding female anatomy. Even using vaginal weights, like Ben Wa balls, won’t benefit everyone suffering from what’s known as stress urinary incontinence.
What has proven effective for me and several other women I know is much simpler: we need to improve our posture while sitting and standing. When lying down, try drawing your navel toward your spine. Practice a basic bridge pose by lying on your back with your knees bent and feet flat. Push through your feet to lift your navel toward the ceiling, and repeat. This not only feels great but also strengthens the abdominal muscles that provide support to the lumbar region and urinary tract.
Arnold Kegel’s misguided legacy has led countless women to pad their underwear just to avoid embarrassment after sneezing. How absurd is that?! So, I stopped doing Kegels and encouraged my mom friends to do the same. We even had a good laugh exploring vaginal weights—while of course, we also experienced a few leaks—before turning our focus to exercises that actually make a difference.
As mothers, we often receive terrible advice and face unsolicited judgment. We recognize that no body fully recovers in just six weeks. We’re aware of the societal shame surrounding motherhood. After countless Kegels, many of us still find ourselves leaking when we laugh too hard. So why continue with a method that isn’t working?
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In summary, Kegels alone may not be the answer to postpartum leaks. By focusing on posture and core strength, we may find better solutions to support our bodies after childbirth.