I believed I had a grasp on love. I cherish my partner; we’ve shared nearly 11 years together. Through illness, hangovers, irritability, fatigue, and even the less glamorous moments, we’ve seen each other at our worst and still choose each other daily. Though we may not see eye to eye on every little aspect of life, we’re united by core values and share countless laughs. We actively support each other’s aspirations, making our love a conscious choice. While it may not be flawless, it’s genuine and grows stronger by the day. I thought I understood love deeply.
But I was mistaken. That love, while extraordinary, didn’t equip me for the overwhelming love I feel for my child. It’s not that my affection for my child surpasses that for my partner; rather, it’s an intensity that is beyond anything I had anticipated. The instinct to shield him from the harsh realities of the world and to preserve his innocence is fierce. Even as he develops, he remains vulnerable and dependent on me for guidance.
My love for my husband runs deep, but my feelings for my child? They resonate within me on an entirely different level. Perhaps it’s because I carried him within me, witnessing his first breaths. It’s as if he is a piece of my heart, now exploring the world. This love is so powerful it feels like it might burst my heart.
As he grows, I find myself seeing the world anew through his perspective. His wonder and curiosity remind me of the beauty we often overlook. He encourages me to smile at strangers instead of frown, unveiling a softer, more affectionate side of me, which in turn deepens my love for him.
He gazes at me as if I’m the most amazing person in the world. Even in my pajamas, with messy hair and morning breath, his joy is infectious. He cherishes our simple moments of peek-a-boo, laughter, and snuggles. Each moment affirms that, regardless of life’s chaos, I’m doing something right by loving him with all my heart.
As adulthood creeps in, love can become complex. We grapple with mortgages, career pressures, health choices, and the endless demands of daily life. These stressors can wear us down, leading to irritability and tension in relationships. Romantic love, while exhilarating, often gets tangled in external pressures.
But love for my child? Right now, it’s refreshingly straightforward. I know it will evolve as he grows and begins to assert his independence, leading to challenges ahead. For now, though, it’s filled with hugs, laughter, and warmth. The sight of him crawling towards me reignites that heart-bursting love, that fierce protectiveness I feel. I believe he embodies the best of both me and my partner, creating a beautiful blend of our essences.
Sure, there will be a day when he drives me as crazy as my partner does, but I consider that a positive sign. It signifies that love prevails despite imperfections and annoyances. The moment I first held him, my world shifted in the most wonderful way. One truth emerged: I was destined to love this child unconditionally. Even when he frustrates or upsets me, my love for him remains unwavering.
I will cherish him wholeheartedly for as long as I can. Each day, he teaches me that the most profound love is unconditional, flourishing despite the challenges we face. If you’re interested in other topics related to parenthood, you can check out this insightful post on overcoming low sperm count on the path to parenthood, which offers valuable guidance. For those exploring options for parenthood, there are excellent resources available, such as this one on in vitro fertilisation.