I was in the kitchen scrolling through Facebook, desperately searching for a babysitter for Valentine’s Day, when my 7-year-old daughter, Mia, suddenly started to lose it. As a parent, I’ve learned to recognize the different types of screams my kids make. This one was pure frustration, not pain or conflict. It was the same whiny screech she uses when she can’t solve a homework problem right away.
This time, Mia was struggling with those silly, overpriced Valentine’s Day cards we had picked up earlier at the store. She was trying to peel off the temporary Princess Elena tattoos that came with them, but she kept ripping them. By the time I reached her room, she had already mangled half of the 30 cards we bought, her face was flushed, and she was flopped on her bed kicking her legs in a full-blown meltdown.
As I calmed her down and helped her separate the Valentines, my phone buzzed with messages from teens letting me know they’d already committed to watching someone else’s kids on the big day. At that moment, it hit me—I was simply out of luck.
That’s just the reality of Valentine’s Day for parents with young children. Back in my college days, I worked at a local restaurant and remember dreading Valentine’s Day for a couple of reasons. First, the tables were mostly couples who tipped poorly compared to larger groups. Secondly, those couples would linger at their tables for what felt like eternity, lost in each other’s eyes, making it awkward for me to approach them.
I used to look at those love-struck couples and think how silly they seemed, as if the holiday was just a commercial ploy to get people to spend money. But now, as a thirty-something parent, I get it. I long for a quiet dinner with my wife, just the two of us, where we can take our time and enjoy each other’s company. In the ten years that my partner, Sarah, and I have been parents, we’ve only managed to have a Valentine’s Day date two or three times.
With no family nearby and our kids being a handful, whenever we finally do find a babysitter, we often rush back home out of pity for the poor sitter. I know this situation will change eventually; in a few years, our oldest, Ethan, will be old enough to watch his younger siblings. And sure, we could go out a day or two before or after Valentine’s Day, but somehow, it doesn’t feel as special.
I can already hear someone reading this, eager to share their babysitting solutions in the comments, but that’s not what I need right now. I just want to vent a little about the challenge of juggling being a romantic husband and a devoted father on Valentine’s Day.
After helping Mia with her Valentines, she started sharing stories about her friends at school who would be giving her special cards, including the ones with the cutest temporary tattoos. Then she put one aside and said, “Close your eyes, Daddy.”
I’ve learned to be wary whenever my kids ask me to close my eyes; it often leads to something messy. But I complied, as I always do. I heard her scribbling and then she said, “Okay, you can open them.”
She handed me one of her special Valentines that read, “Love you, Dad.” She was missing a front tooth, and her gap-toothed grin lit up her face, with her bangs perfectly framing her brows. In that moment, I realized that despite my disappointment over not finding a babysitter for the holiday, that simple act from my daughter warmed my heart.
I thought about Sarah and our family, exhaling slowly. While Valentine’s Day isn’t exactly what I envisioned at this stage of life, it’s still meaningful, albeit in a different way. It’s a day to express love to those who matter most, and Mia certainly understood that. I still want to do something special with Sarah, and I will, but it’s time for me to shift my focus from frustration to the love surrounding me.
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In summary, while I couldn’t find a babysitter for Valentine’s Day, I learned to appreciate the love expressed by my daughter, reminding me that the day is still special, just in a different way.