Recently, I discovered something important about myself: I might not be very good at complimenting others.
This realization came during a trip to New Orleans, a city I had long wanted to visit. Known for its vibrant music scene and delicious cuisine, we focused on the culinary delights, especially our dinner at the renowned Commander’s Palace.
This restaurant was incredible. It’s the type of place where a significant bill is anticipated, yet the exceptional food and service justify the cost. We were served by a fantastic trio of staff—a woman and two men—who were incredibly attentive and friendly.
Our server confidently recommended the turtle soup, stating that it was a must-try at Commander’s Palace. She was absolutely right. I had envisioned a typical creamy chowder, but instead, I was treated to a uniquely rich reddish-burgundy broth with a perfect consistency, wonderful flavor, and a subtle hint of sherry. Following that, I sampled an even more delectable dish: pan-seared redfish cooked in an iron skillet. It was unbelievably good.
Then, our waitress checked in on us and asked, “How are you enjoying everything so far?”
“Just fine,” I replied.
This remark triggered a flurry of concern from our waitress. She started to probe us further, calling over her colleagues and possibly even the manager. Apparently, “just fine” didn’t meet the standard at Commander’s Palace, where they aim for something more like “the best meal I’ve ever had.”
I had always thought of “fine” as a compliment, a term indicating something positive or of high quality. However, my server seemed to interpret it differently, believing that my response was lukewarm. I should have learned this lesson from past experiences, particularly in romantic relationships: “just fine” often implies something less than satisfactory. My attempts to clarify my appreciation were not very successful; the servers seemed convinced that if I had truly enjoyed the meal, I would have expressed it more enthusiastically from the start.
Luckily, my partner stepped in to save me, pointing out that I had just exclaimed, “This dinner is absolutely amazing!” She highlighted that I often give responses that might be perceived as faint praise when I genuinely mean to convey high admiration. When a friend accomplishes something impressive, I might say, “That’s pretty good!” or when someone shares a funny joke, I’d respond with, “That’s actually kind of funny.”
This became a running joke throughout our stay. As we indulged in the fantastic food of New Orleans, I made a deliberate effort to tell the servers that our meals were “just fine,” but then followed up with enthusiastic endorsements.
“How was your gumbo?” I’d start, “Oh, just fine,” then add, “In fact, it was the most incredible gumbo I’ve ever tasted!”
Though this tactic backfired at one restaurant, where a server thought I was being sarcastic, it was a valuable exercise. I could analyze where this tendency comes from, and I wonder if it’s a cultural quirk. Some might say it’s an Irish or Irish-Catholic trait, a hint of fatalism where one believes that great experiences are often followed by disappointment.
This reflection makes me contemplate how many times I’ve used phrases like “not bad” or “pretty good” when I meant something much more complimentary. Have I become a master of understatement? Here are a few apologies and clarifications I’d like to make:
- To Lisa Thompson, founder & CEO of Delicious Bites: I truly love my job and my work here; I did not intend to suggest otherwise by describing it as “definitely among the top five jobs I’ve had in the last decade.”
- To Mark Johnson, my co-editor: Your article about being mistaken for a tourist at Café Gourmet was not simply “kind of funny”; it was hilarious enough to nearly make me spit out my drink while reading it.
- To the athletes who teased me in school: I will not only track you down but will also disregard how physics work.
- To the Auto Group: The car I’ve been driving since 2011 is not merely “pretty good.” It is, without a doubt, “excellent,” despite the minor repair issues.
- To the writer we spoke with recently: I apologize for referring to your work as “actually quite good,” particularly with my voice rising at the end; your pieces were truly exceptional.
- As for the weather in New Orleans: which I described as “nice” while chatting with a couple from Denver: It was, in fact, the perfect blend of sunny 65-degree days and mild 55-degree nights, just what we needed to escape the early winter chill of the Northeast.
In conclusion, this experience has made me more aware of how I express appreciation and the importance of delivering sincere compliments. If you’re on a similar journey of self-discovery, check out this article on couples’ fertility journeys for insights that can support your path. For more information on personalized fertility treatment, visit this resource. And for an excellent overview of IUI success rates, you can explore WebMD’s insights.