When it comes to my pediatrician, he rarely interrogates me about my parenting choices. However, as he runs through his standard checklist of questions, I often find myself not being completely honest. Instead of pausing to think about whether or not to tell the truth, I’ve learned from experience that it can lead to a frustrating dead end. I deliberately share what I know he wants to hear, allowing us to exit the doctor’s office before my three children even think about touching those communal toys that are likely covered in germs.
I often embellish the truth regarding my children’s eating habits, sleep patterns, and even how regularly I administer those vitamin D drops they supposedly needed as infants. I’ve mastered the art of providing the ideal responses to present myself as a model mother. After three kids, I know what answers will satisfy him, and I deliver them without a second thought.
I’m not concerned about impressing my pediatrician; rather, I simply lack the time and energy for a lecture about co-sleeping or how my kids should have a more balanced diet. Having navigated the complexities of motherhood, I feel empowered to make my own choices without stressing about adhering to every guideline.
Initially, when my first child was born, I sought constant validation from the pediatrician, anxious for him to meet all developmental milestones. I worried endlessly about any deviations from the pediatrician’s recommendations. In my quest to conform to these standards, I went to great lengths, tossing aside toys that didn’t meet the “appropriate” criteria, obsessively engaging in activities that were said to enhance his development, and battling through late-night feedings that disrupted our routine.
Looking back, I realize I spent far too much time in a state of anxiety over things that, in reality, didn’t matter. My child was growing and developing just fine, despite not fitting neatly into the pediatrician’s prescribed box.
By the time my daughter arrived, I felt a newfound sense of confidence. I stopped depending solely on the pediatrician for guidance. I had learned that even when I strayed from the conventional rules, my children were thriving. I allowed for flexibility in our routines. When she showed disinterest in baby food, I adapted by offering bottles until she was ready to feed herself. When her nap schedule didn’t align with what was deemed “normal,” we adjusted to find what suited her best.
The results were remarkable: my daughter flourished in ways my son hadn’t when I rigidly tried to force him into a mold. I realized that our family dynamics were unique, and we needed to find our own ways to thrive.
Now, with my third child, I’ve shifted my perception of pediatric advice from absolute mandates to suggestions that I can adapt. I understand the pediatrician’s framework, but I also recognize that my children won’t fit perfectly into these expectations. Each of their journeys is distinct, and I’ve learned that their individual paths don’t warrant sleepless nights.
I prioritize their well-being and ensure that my decisions are informed, weighing the risks and benefits carefully. I’ve made choices that diverge from the pediatrician’s recommendations, such as co-sleeping with my youngest and allowing more screen time than is typically advised. However, I also adhere to certain guidelines, like providing wholesome meals and enforcing early bedtimes.
For my own peace of mind, I sometimes choose to withhold certain truths during our pediatric visits. I understand the rationale behind the advice, but I know what is best for my family. As long as my children are happy and healthy, a little creative license during doctor visits isn’t going to cause harm.
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Summary
In this piece, Mia Thompson shares her journey from strictly adhering to pediatric advice to confidently making her own parenting decisions. After learning that her children thrived despite not fitting into conventional guidelines, she emphasizes the importance of finding a balance that works for her family. Ultimately, she advocates for trusting one’s instincts and being flexible in parenting choices.