If you’ve ever found yourself exclaiming, “No, it’s bedtime! No snacks!” then you might be a parent. If you’ve ever said yes to those requests, then you may be a bit like me.
At some point, we developed a routine of offering our children snacks right before bed. I refer to this as the “fourth meal.” It’s a bit maddening for me and my partner, and it definitely raises eyebrows from my mother during her visits.
I often hear comments like, “I present my child with asparagus and Brussels sprouts, and if you don’t give in, they won’t starve,” or “They’ll learn to enjoy vegetables if you don’t offer alternatives.” While I agree in theory, the reality is that I’m just relieved if my kids eat anything at all for dinner.
I know all too well that I have some very stubborn toddlers and assertive tweens who refuse to eat anything they deem unappetizing. They’re still young, and they need to fuel their growing bodies.
With my first child, I was all about organic foods and avoided sugar for as long as possible—until my second and third kids arrived, and everything changed in our eating habits. If they want marshmallow Peeps for breakfast, I think, well, at least they’re letting me sleep a bit longer.
There is a method behind the chaos of our fourth meal tradition. I cook dinner almost every night; we rarely order pizza or serve cereal. I’m not bragging; it’s just how I operate. Some nights my kids devour the meal, while other times, each bite is a negotiation involving treats, toys, and screen time. Yet, an hour or two after dinner, they’re requesting snacks. Sometimes it’s something small like toast, while other times, it turns into a full-blown fourth meal.
If they didn’t eat much for dinner, I simply save their meals to offer again before bed. Most of the time, I find myself saying yes to their post-dinner requests. My kids inherited their father’s rapid metabolism. He’s tall and slim and can eat nonstop. On weekends, he’s in the kitchen whipping up snacks and multiple meals. My kids genuinely seem hungry after dinner; I’ve seen my daughter devour two eggs with toast and a big bowl of fruit for her fourth meal. They’re growing, so I’m okay with them having a little something before bed.
I’ve become adept at distinguishing between genuine hunger and just stalling for bedtime. Moms know that when a child is truly hungry, they’ll eat healthy foods like bananas and yogurt. But when they ask for gummy worms, I know it’s time to say no. If they’re really hungry, they’ll finish the dinner I prepared.
My kids don’t eat very well at school; getting them to consume nutritious meals during the day has been a constant struggle. If I consider their overall calorie intake, a little extra meal or snack before bed won’t hurt. In fact, it’s probably necessary for them.
They’re still young, and my daughter, in particular, has had challenges with weight gain and growth. So when she tells me she’s hungry, I make sure to feed her. She requires those calories to stay healthy and perform well in school. If she happens to eat her best meal just before bed, then so be it.
I don’t proactively offer snacks unless they ask for them, but it’s become part of our family routine. Every night is different, and some evenings, my patience runs thin. On those nights, you might find my kids munching on plain bread as they head to brush their teeth.
Of course, there are plenty of evenings when I say no, especially if dinner is served later than usual. I remind them that once dinner is done, the kitchen is closed.
Maintaining this routine can be exhausting; who wants to prepare an extra meal daily or deal with more mess? Mealtime is already one of my least favorite parts of the day, but I’ve learned to accept it, expect it, and do my best to embrace it. It’s become a quirky family tradition because my little ones understand that if I put in the effort to make dinner, they better eat it if they want a second chance.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s experience with giving her children snacks before bedtime, which she refers to as a “fourth meal.” Despite the challenges of getting her kids to eat well during the day, she finds that allowing them to have a small meal or snack before bed is necessary for their growth and well-being. Balancing healthy eating with the realities of parenting, she shares her thoughts on mealtime negotiations and the importance of nourishment for her children.