When it comes to my births, aside from the C-section I didn’t plan for, my second and third experiences exceeded my expectations. I’ve always had an exceptional OBGYN, earning him a metaphorical gold medal for his work. However, let’s face it: while doctors are crucial, it’s the labor and delivery nurses who truly shape the birthing experience.
The outstanding nurses have left a lasting impression on me, while the not-so-great ones have left me with a lingering bitterness. I fondly remember Gina, who comforted me during my spinal tap and joyfully brought my newborn to my husband, exclaiming, “She’s perfect!” There was also Lila, who lovingly crocheted a hat for my baby and created a scrapbook page for our family. And those nighttime nurses (forgive me for not recalling their names) who never once judged me for the blood I accidentally spilled on their pristine white shoes. Then there was Rachel, the playful soul who teased me lovingly about my use of the call button.
These labor and delivery nurses made my hospital stay a memorable one, and I will always cherish their kindness during such a vulnerable time. However, every good story has its dark chapter.
Let’s Call Her Linda
Unlike the other nurses, she failed to provide reassurance during my spinal tap and was far from comforting during my C-section. My twins were delivered at 35 weeks. My son arrived first, seemingly healthy, while my daughter was whisked away to the NICU due to a low Apgar score, partly from inhaling amniotic fluid. While attempting skin-to-skin contact with my son post-op, I noticed he was shivering excessively, despite being bundled in a heated blanket. His fingers and lips were turning bluish-purple.
I asked Linda if this was normal, but she merely glanced at him before returning her attention to her computer. Trusting my instincts, I insisted the neonatal doctor be summoned. Upon arrival, they discovered my son’s oxygen levels were dangerously low, and he was promptly taken to the NICU, where his sister was already receiving treatment.
To add to my distress, the pain from my C-section intensified as the effects of the spinal tap began to fade. I naively asked Linda if my discomfort could be due to having delivered multiples or if my doctor should be informed. She snapped back, “No. I’ve had three C-sections. You’re supposed to be in pain.”
I wish I could say I stood up for myself and requested a different nurse right then, but I didn’t know I had that option. Even if I had considered it, I was worried about how new staff might treat me if they overheard my complaints about Linda.
As I tried to stand and walk to the bathroom, I was fueled by determination despite the intense pain. Just as I was about to rise, Linda gently took my hand as if she were helping royalty into a car. “You got me?” I asked. “Yep.” And then I fell, crashing to the hard floor.
Linda was responsible for my care that shift, and she failed me in every way. She didn’t comfort my fears, neglected my newborn’s well-being, and didn’t report my fall — which could have led to serious injury if it weren’t for a nearby pillow that softened my landing. Rather than providing support, she dismissed my concerns and made me feel ashamed.
Looking back, I should have been more assertive; I should have demanded a new labor and delivery nurse. But I simply didn’t know that was an option. Now, I understand better, and I hope you do, too. Even though C-sections and vaginal births are common, they aren’t without risks. You and your baby deserve the best possible care. If you find yourself unhappy with your labor and delivery nurse, don’t hesitate to ask for a replacement. Speak up — advocate for yourself and your well-being. Kick the Lindas of the maternity ward to the curb and seek out a Gina, Lila, or Rachel.
For more information on navigating your pregnancy journey, check out this post on home insemination kits and learn about pain relief options at this authority on the topic. Another excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination is this IVF information page.
In Summary
Your birthing experience should be empowering and supportive. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Communicate your needs and ensure you receive the care you and your baby need.