My children were born during a period when my partner and I were deeply involved in our faith. We followed that significant religion (the one that insists on giving children names of saints). True believers don’t just tuck a saint’s name in the middle; they put it front and center. This often leads to daughters with names like Mary Elizabeth Catherine or Catherine Elizabeth Mary. We opted for the simpler route: triple names with two family names at the end, just needing to decide on the first name. All three of my sons have religious names.
If I could, I would change two of them.
I Love the First Name We Chose, Even If It’s A Religious Name
My eldest has a name that’s quite distinctive: St. Blaise is very rare; it was ranked #977 when he was born. We have yet to meet another child with the same name. While people often misspell it, it’s a one-syllable name that doesn’t scream “MAMA WANTS HIM TO BE A PRIEST.” Most importantly, it suits him perfectly. When people hear it, they smile and say, “Yep, that’s him!”
So I’m Not Condemning Religious Names
I’m not outright rejecting religious names. The issue lies in our departure from that faith: we left it behind. At the time we named our sons, we were committed to the idea that they needed religious names, but now I wish I could undo that decision. It’s not something anyone prepares for; when we left the faith, we were shocked and confused for a long time.
What we believe now doesn’t change the fact that those names are tied to our previous beliefs. I regret how that religion influenced the names we chose for our children.
Number 2 is Named After A Total Misogynist
When you explore the life of St. Augustine, the name we picked for our second son, you find some troubling views about women, among other things. We weren’t the type of religious people who focused on such things, so we overlooked them. Augustine often gets mispronounced, and many mistakenly think it’s a girl’s name.
We usually call him August, which I adore. However, his incredibly religious name still follows him, popping up on forms and during formal occasions. While I cherish his cool nickname, I would have chosen a more laid-back name for him today.
Both of my younger children would likely have names with a more free-spirited vibe. I envied a friend whose child is named Bowie; I wanted a name like that too. I could have gone with Moon, after the celestial body or the drummer from The Who. I could have simply named him after his birth month, November, and called him Ember.
And before you point out, “But what about your husband?” I carried them, dealt with morning sickness, and endured countless insulin shots for them. I have naming rights. He could have objected to any of the names, but I would’ve fought for them. However, that religion also pushed for submission to one’s husband, which St. Augustine also endorsed.
But Our Last Son Has The Most Religious Name of All
If I could change just one name, it would be my youngest’s. He has the most overtly religious name of all. Think of the apostles from biblical times—not just Simon, but Simon Peter. Everyone was proud of us for choosing it.
Now, I wish I could choose anything else. I rarely use his name anymore, and even thinking of it brings a pang of regret. While I can accept my second son’s cool nickname, my youngest has no such alternative. I remind myself that I once liked the name; it used to remind me of a character in “Lord of the Flies,” who symbolizes the best qualities of humanity (though he meets a tragic end).
Yet, combining Simon with Peter creates a name that screams, “WE LOVE THE LORD.” As I lean more towards agnosticism now, it makes me cringe. If I had the freedom back then, I would have opted for any number of names like those I mentioned. But back then, it was their way or nothing, and we weren’t ready to break free.
Even though we no longer identify with that religion, our sons’ names remain a lasting reminder. I’d prefer names like Moon, West, Sky, or River. I’m living with a heavy dose of name regret, and each time I hear a unique baby name, it stings a little more.
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Summary:
The author reflects on naming their children with religious names during a time of deep faith but now regrets those choices after leaving that religion. While they appreciate the uniqueness of their eldest’s name, they express dissatisfaction with the names of their other two sons, particularly the youngest, whose name is heavily tied to religious connotations. The piece explores the emotional burden of these names and the desire for more contemporary or nature-inspired alternatives, illustrating the lasting impact of choices made in a different phase of life.