I have always prided myself on my stubbornness. Some may view it as a flaw, but I see it as a strength. It drives me to keep my commitments and ensures that I am consistent and dependable. When I embarked on my journey into motherhood, I set clear intentions—things I would embrace and things I would avoid. So far, I have adhered to these principles quite well. I committed to limiting screen time for my children, and they thrive as healthy eaters. I ensured they would sleep in their own beds, and since they were just six weeks old, they’ve done so without issue. However, after four years of parenting with intention, I stumbled.
While I was expecting my daughter, I stumbled upon a powerful blog post that advised against letting children hear you express dissatisfaction with your appearance. The author shared how her perception of beauty shifted once she overheard her mother criticize herself. This resonated with me, and I resolved to shield my daughter from any negative self-talk about my looks. But then, it happened.
Every year on her birthday, my daughter and I capture a special moment together in photos. It’s a cherished tradition that allows us to document our growth. This year, however, during a moment of vulnerability, I blurted out, “Ugh, I’m just so unattractive.” Before I even processed my words, my daughter innocently replied, “You’re unattractive?”
I regretted it instantly, but as we all know, words can’t be taken back. I quickly said, “Oops, Mommy didn’t mean that,” but deep down, I feared that she would recognize the truth behind my comment eventually.
I’m not here to advise anyone on how to change their self-image; I have my own struggles with self-acceptance. I’ve never been fully satisfied with my appearance, and that’s the reality I live with. However, my goal is to end this cycle for my daughter.
I don’t want her to hear me label myself as unattractive, only to face the world where others might say, “You look just like your mom.” That sends a confusing message. Even if I struggle with my own body image, I must ensure that my daughter grows up hearing that she is beautiful and worthy. It’s crucial that I fortify her self-esteem during these formative years, especially as she eventually navigates the opinions of peers and society.
When that time comes, I can only hope that my efforts to build her up with affirmation outweigh any negativity she might encounter. I won’t allow her to hear me call myself unattractive again.
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In summary, self-talk can significantly impact our children’s self-perception. It’s essential for parents to model positive self-image to foster a healthy relationship with body image in their children.