My breakup with my ex wasn’t filled with drama or intense conflict. Although we share a child, his tendency to be absent—both physically and emotionally—meant that our separation ended quietly. When my daughter and I relocated across the country to join my now-husband, he didn’t even bother to say farewell to her.
In the first six months after the move, I heard from him just once. I texted him about my upcoming wedding, and it wasn’t until over a year later that he reached out again—this time because a warrant had been issued for his arrest due to three years of unpaid child support. By then, I had been married for a few months, and my husband was in the process of adopting my daughter. The only thing holding us back was his signature, which he was reluctant to provide, despite his evident disinterest in being a father. However, when the arrest warrant arrived, he suddenly became responsive, signing the adoption papers immediately to escape his financial obligations.
It’s amusing, then, that this same disengaged father has taken to liking my posts on social media. I don’t keep tabs on him online or in real life. My daughter has a father figure in my husband, and our life is fulfilling without him. Perhaps it’s the happiness we’ve found that draws him to my online presence.
Initially, it irritated me. How dare he engage with my posts when he hasn’t bothered to check on our child? What gives him the right to insert himself into my life now? I was genuinely upset. Even though our split wasn’t contentious, he still made life challenging for me as a single mother.
Instead of blocking him, I decided to showcase my daughter and our fulfilling life to him. I ramped up the number of pictures I shared of my husband and our daughter—capturing our family adventures and moments that illustrated the kind of father my ex could never be. I even began sharing personal anecdotes on LinkedIn, crafting them to fit within the business context since that’s where he typically engages with my content.
And you know what? It’s surprisingly liberating! In a way, I feel like I’m doing a public service. He’s not just witnessing the incredible life my daughter is leading; he’s also getting a glimpse of how my husband exemplifies what it means to be a supportive parent. Who knows, maybe he’s taking notes from across the country, inspired by the life I’m sharing.
My posts aren’t meant to be malicious; I don’t publish everything with him in mind. It’s just that when I notice him lurking on my profile, I feel compelled to give him something worth seeing. After all he put us through, he should be grateful that this is all I’m doing.
Is this behavior immature? Perhaps. Would it be healthier for me to simply move on? Most likely. But I’ve taken the high road in every other interaction with him, and for once, I wanted to take a different approach.
The truth is, I was over him long before I married my husband. Our relationship had ended long before my daughter was born. It’s frustrating that he finds the time to monitor my life when he was so absent when we truly needed him.
His consequence is having to watch someone else cherish and raise “his” daughter. As long as he follows me online, he’ll see her thriving under the love of a man who is everything he wasn’t. Her achievements, all documented online, won’t be credited to him but rather to the man who chose to step in and be the father figure she deserves.
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In summary, while I may be engaging in a bit of playful trolling on social media, it serves as a reminder to my ex of the life he missed out on. My focus is on celebrating the love and support my daughter receives from a devoted father figure, while he watches from afar.