Can you do self-insemination at home ?
Anxiety is something everyone encounters at some point, even if they don’t recognize it. We’ve all felt nervous about small things like taking an exam or going on a first date, as well as significant worries such as becoming a parent or dealing with a loved one’s illness.
Before I started therapy, I believed that my experiences with anxiety were just typical adult feelings. I sought therapy primarily to navigate my emotions surrounding a potential divorce after spending 12 years with one person, realizing that friends can’t always provide an unbiased perspective. What I discovered in therapy was that my anxiety was far more complex than mere confusion or a busy mind.
While I had heard the terms anxiety and depression, I never thought they applied to me. I believed my anxiety was just a part of who I was, a trait inherited from my family of “worriers.” I assumed that because I had never contemplated self-harm, I couldn’t possibly be depressed.
However, I soon recognized that my experiences were not normal. Coming home from work and immediately retreating to bed to binge-watch TV every night? Not normal. Feeling unworthy of a joyful and fulfilling life? Not normal. Being unable to appreciate life’s moments, especially with my child, due to overwhelming worry? Definitely not normal.
I hoped that with this newfound understanding, I would find a straightforward path to feeling better. After all, when you visit a doctor, they typically prescribe medicine and you heal. I quickly learned, however, that mental health issues are far more complicated. I received some tools to manage my anxiety, but the feelings of unease can always linger, ready to resurface at the slightest sign of vulnerability.
There are moments when I completely forget about my anxiety. When I excel at work, push myself at the gym, and plan enjoyable activities with my daughter, I start to feel empowered. Yet, if I stay up late one night or miss contributing in a meeting, anxiety returns with a vengeance. I worry about my parenting choices or fear that my partner might leave me, even though I know these thoughts are unfounded. When anxiety takes over, rational thought goes out the window.
Once a specific trigger is hit, the real chaos begins—enter panic attacks. These episodes often occur when I’m already feeling anxious, further exacerbated by existing sensitivities. In an instant, I feel detached from the world; everything becomes blurry and muffled, and I’m left in a dark, painful void. Thankfully, these moments are infrequent, though they can intensify during challenging times, such as during my divorce or after the unexpected loss of my pet. The therapeutic tools I learned help, especially when I manage to meditate or listen to my calming Spotify playlist, which can sometimes soothe the mounting anxiety.
John Mayer’s song “Emoji of a Wave” touches on the emotional ups and downs of relationships, and I’ve found myself reciting its chorus in moments of anxiety: “Oh honey, it’s just a wave, and when it comes, I just hold on.” Music serves as my coping mechanism, but I know it may not work for everyone. What I truly hope is that sharing my journey helps others feel less isolated. If you ever find yourself struggling with mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. You don’t have to face this alone.
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Summary:
This article recounts the author’s journey through misinterpreting their anxiety as typical and highlights the complexity of mental health. It emphasizes the importance of seeking help and understanding that anxiety can manifest in ways that disrupt everyday life. The author shares personal anecdotes about coping mechanisms and encourages others to reach out for support.