Parks, playgrounds, zoos, museums, and various classes fill the community calendar, offering a plethora of activities to engage children. No matter their age or interests, the options seem limitless. However, there’s a catch: I’m not particularly fond of most of these outings. To say I dislike them might even be an understatement.
I make an effort, truly, but at heart, I’m a devoted homebody. While others revel in these social activities, I often find them anxiety-inducing and stressful. Occasionally, I’ll take my kids to an event (and by “event,” I mean one where they enjoy themselves while I feign enjoyment, painfully counting down the minutes). Generally, these outings only happen on weekends when my husband can join, or as a special treat for achievements like good grades.
This brings a wave of mom guilt crashing down on me. Recently, while enduring an interminable story time at the library, I chatted with another mom. “Isn’t this just the best?” she exclaimed, her enthusiasm reminiscent of my excitement for a sale on desserts. “Wednesdays are so great for Max and me. We hit the playground after breakfast to burn off some energy, then it’s toddler music class, followed by lunch at that burger spot with the giant ball pit. After this, we’re off to ‘Wild and Wacky Wednesday’ at the petting zoo. It’s half price today!”
“That sounds incredible!” I responded, even though my inner voice was screaming, “That sounds dreadful!” But I added, “Max is one lucky kid.” And he truly is, which is why I feel that familiar twinge of inadequacy when I encounter parents like Max’s mom. Why can’t YOU be that engaging and enthusiastic? my inner critic chastises me (and then scolds me for not buying organic apples).
Yet, I must be fair to myself. I have four children, while Max’s mom has just him. Managing different interests and activities is no small feat. Time management becomes a juggling act: I lack enough hours in the day to transport kids to various events while also preparing meals, assisting with homework, and ensuring our home stays in order. Don’t even get me started on the costs of admission or class fees for four kids; I’d need to take out a second mortgage, and I’m already contemplating that just to handle our growing grocery bill (organic apples or not).
Though my kids might not be experiencing a mother who thrives on taking them out for every possible enrichment opportunity, they are learning valuable skills at home. I teach them to make pancakes, allow them to use up the last of the glue and an excessive amount of detergent to create “goop,” and join them on neighborhood nature walks, where we examine anthills together. The memories we create at home are just as meaningful, albeit different. When we occasionally visit a museum or play mini-golf, those outings become special events rather than just another Wednesday.
Just as there are all types of people in the world, there are various kinds of parents. Some love social outings while others prefer staying at home—and that’s perfectly fine. Regardless of our choices, the guilt tends to linger.
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In summary, parenting styles vary widely, and it’s important to recognize that different does not mean inferior. Whether you’re a social butterfly or a homebody, what’s most important is the love and care you provide to your children.