Can you do self-insemination at home ?
Let me start with complete honesty. I never thought I’d be raising a child on my own. In fact, I never expected to raise a child at all.
As a kid, my imagination took me to places far beyond motherhood. I spent my playtime pretending to be a rockstar, a news reporter, or an acclaimed author captivating an audience. Dolls and make-believe weddings never held any appeal for me; those simply weren’t my fantasies.
Then came my son—a delightful, unexpected gift. I am truly grateful that life didn’t unfold according to my original plans. The universe knew I needed him, and getting to know him has made me a better person. Still, because I never envisioned this role for myself, I often feel lost in my parenting journey. If only children came with an instruction manual!
To complicate things further, I’m a solo mom, which means I don’t get weekends off or help with parenting dilemmas. While I’m fortunate to have my mom’s support, it’s not the same as having an invested partner by my side.
My son’s father is in Dublin, and while we shared a moment of love during my travels, that bond didn’t extend to co-parenting. When I found out I was pregnant and he chose to step away, he made it clear that he wouldn’t earn the title of “dad.” That title is earned through commitment, not merely biology.
Navigating life as a solo mom can be challenging. Beyond the obvious hurdles of finances and responsibilities, it’s tough to be surrounded by other moms who have supportive partners. Whether it’s attending school events or swimming lessons, I often find myself facing families who are in this together. I can’t help but feel that absence of partnership. It’s a strange feeling, almost like watching an alien interaction—so foreign to my experience.
I remind myself that my perception of those relationships might be as skewed as a wrestling match. Perhaps they aren’t the perfect fairytales I envision; they could just be two people sharing space and responsibilities. Regardless, having someone to share my son’s milestones would be a comforting presence. I’ve never known that kind of companionship in this role.
That said, I don’t want anyone to pity me. I take pride in my independence. I’ve never been the type to rely on a relationship for validation. I don’t need a partner to feel valued; my strength comes from within. I’m not bitter about love; I see it as a beautiful experience when you find the right person. However, I know that not everyone gets that chance.
For me, my “person” is my son. No other role has ever made me feel as cherished as being his mom. That title is mine forever.
Recently, my son overheard someone say, “I don’t know how you do it on your own.” Later, he asked, “Mom, aren’t you glad you’re a solo mom?” I was curious about his perspective. He explained that if we were like other families, he might feel left out and not get to enjoy our special bond. He was right; there are benefits to being just the two of us. I make all the decisions, we experience everything together, and he comes to me for comfort and advice.
It may sound selfish, but there’s immense beauty in our duo. We’re a team, and I get to be his number one, just as he is mine.
As a wise meme suggests, “Any woman can be a mother, but it takes a badass woman to be a father, too.”
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