Updated: March 19, 2017
Originally Published: March 19, 2017
Hello, grown children! It’s lovely to see you, even if you can’t resist reminding me of all my parenting blunders. Love you dearly.
Reflecting on my journey through the chaotic world of parenting, I’ve come to the realization that I’ve been both an exceptional and a less-than-stellar mom. Yes, I’m what you might call a good-bad mother—deal with it.
Moms, we deserve all the support. Whether we feel we’ve failed or succeeded, the truth is we often embody both extremes simultaneously. There were days when I nailed it and days when I felt completely overwhelmed. My collection of good and bad mom tales could easily fill two baskets.
Many of us struggle to accept that it’s normal to experience both joy and frustration in motherhood. We often chastise ourselves over our missteps. Some are significant, but most are trivial and simply come with the territory.
Motherhood is a whirlwind of chaos and beauty. There are moments of imperfection and others so wonderful they inspire us to take a bow. While our unique challenges differ, we share a common desire: to be the perfect parent for our children.
We aspire to be ideal role models, tireless caregivers, wise mentors, and culinary wizards. It’s what we call Perfect Mom Syndrome, or PMS for short. Yes, it’s a little confusing, but it’s the term we’re using.
Just as we flip through glamorous magazines and envy unattainable beauty standards, we often envision an idealized version of motherhood. This image of the “perfect” mom shapes our expectations, even though we know that parenting is far from perfect.
So, what does a perfect mom look like? For me, she’s calm, patient, and never loses her temper. She consistently upholds her rules and looks stylish while doing it. She creates balanced meals and never lets junk food cross the threshold.
This paragon of motherhood is always organized, never lets laundry pile up, and has a knack for math homework. When we strive to embody her, we find ourselves grappling with PMS.
In contrast, a “regular mom” might toss a box of Lunchables into a backpack because it’s convenient. She might serve her child cereal for dinner or send them to school in mismatched socks. Regular Mom is sometimes confused and overwhelmed, and she’s not afraid to express her frustration. But guess what? Regular moms are not “bad” moms.
I used to believe that striving for perfection was paramount, but it only led to self-doubt. It’s perfectly acceptable to aim for goodness in motherhood, but stressing over our imperfections isn’t. PMS can creep in and undermine our long-term goal of raising well-adjusted individuals.
Here’s a truth bomb: Perfect Mom doesn’t really exist. Occasionally, she may show up, but she’s exhausting to maintain and can crush our spirits when we can’t meet her standards.
The reality of parenting is that we give and take, help and hinder, remain patient and become exasperated. We push forward one day and throw in the towel the next. The same mouth that yells in traffic also sings lullabies. The hands that reprimand can also offer comfort. The mind that wants to give up is the same one that lies awake worrying about our children’s safety.
We cannot embody perfection because children have a way of revealing both our best and worst selves. It’s essential to abandon PMS before it taints our experience of motherhood. We can take a cue from resources like this blog on at-home insemination kits to remind us that there are many paths in parenthood.
In the end, we’re all in this together, navigating the beautiful chaos of raising our little ones. If you’re curious about what’s normal for your child, this guide on baby sleeping patterns offers valuable insights. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this resource that can provide further guidance.
Summary:
Recognizing that both triumphs and tribulations are part of motherhood can help us let go of unrealistic expectations. The pursuit of perfection often leads to stress and discontent, but understanding that regular moms are doing just fine can liberate us. Embracing our imperfections is crucial to enjoying the journey of raising our children.