Today, I’ll be candid: I struggled as a mother. With a pregnancy that has me feeling exhausted and emotionally charged, my 3-year-old son was demanding and headstrong all at once. It was overwhelming. Honestly, I could use a day off—a mental health day.
However, we all know how rare those are in the world of motherhood. When our partners catch even a minor cold, they suddenly become another child to care for, and I find myself catering to their every whim—making tea and soup while simultaneously preparing a snack for my son. Of course, their needs are never the same.
But when mothers fall ill, the world doesn’t stop. We could be battling a fever or relentless nausea, yet it’s business as usual. “Mom, I need this right now!” “Where are my keys?” (for the umpteenth time) “I don’t want to wear these pants; I want the blue ones!” (cue the inevitable meltdown).
Nothing pauses; nothing slows down. The expectation is that we will keep going, no matter how we feel.
Well, today, I drew the line! I’m fatigued, have a splitting headache, and the added hormones from nurturing a tiny human while managing a slightly bigger one are taking their toll. My partner just handed me a list of work trips he’s planning. Sigh.
Today, I chose to prioritize myself. I opted to lounge on the couch and binge-watch reruns of my favorite show instead of tackling the towering pile of dishes in the sink. I let my emotions flow when a friend called to chat, allowing myself to vent about my frustrations instead of putting on a brave face. I even let my son watch TV while I took a much-needed shower.
I also allowed him to play on his tablet so I could jot down my thoughts and hopefully begin to process my feelings. I decided that chocolate milk for lunch was acceptable because I simply didn’t have the energy to argue. Three fruit snacks? Go for it. Two glasses of lemonade? Why not! He thought it was the best day ever, while I felt it was a complete disaster. Funny how perspective works.
Will my child suffer from a little extra sugar today? Probably not. Will he be traumatized for watching three hours of TV instead of the usual thirty minutes? Not at all. Will he turn into a spoiled child due to my indulgence? I hope not! But will he benefit from having an emotionally balanced mom? Absolutely.
As mothers, we often forget to take time for ourselves. Someone once asked me how I nurture my own well-being, and I struggled to find an answer. It hit me then—when we pour everything into our families, we risk losing ourselves, which helps no one. I find myself feeling down, resentful, and bitter. That is not the example I want to set for my son. I want to show him how to be strong, independent, and compassionate, which means I need to embody those qualities myself.
While it may feel strange to prioritize self-care, I notice a significant difference when I do. I feel energized and self-assured, which translates into a better experience for my family. Today, I checked out. Moving forward, I want to check in—be aware of when I’m feeling depleted and take proactive steps to maintain my mental health. Just as you go for regular medical check-ups, it’s crucial to check in on your mental and emotional well-being. It may feel selfish, but it’s essential.
As we embark on a new year, I challenge myself and all mothers to start nurturing ourselves. Begin with weekly self-care, then aim for daily moments of mindfulness. I’m sharing this to hold myself accountable, and I hope it encourages others to do the same. For those interested in exploring more about home insemination options, check out this excellent resource. Additionally, the insights from Fertility Preservation can be helpful, as well as the March of Dimes week-by-week guide for pregnancy.
In summary, it is vital for mothers to recognize the importance of self-care. While some days may feel overwhelming, taking time for ourselves can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling parenting experience.