Like many others, I found myself gaining weight during the quarantine. To be candid, I began this period at a lower weight than usual, not due to any intentional dieting, but rather because of life circumstances. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), a condition that can be tricky to manage. When PCOS is under control, my weight tends to drop, but when it’s not, I see the scale rise. Interestingly, my experiences with pregnancy often led to significant weight loss, as the symptoms of PCOS seem to vanish during that time. It’s a reminder that weight is complex, and the notion that simply eating healthier leads to weight loss is overly simplistic.
When the pandemic began, I had just welcomed a newborn and was at one of my lowest weights in years. I was grappling with mixed feelings about this weight loss. Frustratingly, I felt a heightened sense of worth and beauty tied to being smaller. While I don’t oppose having a smaller body, my weight naturally fluctuates with life’s changes. It’s crucial for me to separate my body size from my self-worth. If I equate feeling beautiful with losing weight, then gaining weight would inevitably lead to feeling less valuable. I cannot allow my weight to define how I perceive my body, as that would lead to a cycle of disappointment.
Over the past year, my family has taken great care to stay safe during COVID, which meant spending most of our time at home. My focus shifted to many things, but my body size was not one of them. Consequently, my weight changed, and I found myself heavier than I was a year ago, returning to my typical size. Growing up in a culture obsessed with dieting, I initially felt disappointed as the scale climbed. Each gained pound felt like a step away from the “ideal” thinness. However, I refused to dwell in that mindset, as I have worked hard to detach my body size from my self-worth.
Recognizing that my body has been subjected to harmful messages throughout my life has helped me address my feelings about it. I’ve learned to reclaim my body’s value, regardless of its size. In the past, I mistakenly equated hunger with morality, believing that feeling hungry made me a better person, especially as a woman. I’ve come to understand that hunger signals a need for nourishment, and everyone, regardless of their body size, deserves to eat when hungry. During a pandemic, it’s natural to respond to those hunger cues more readily than usual.
Recently, I had a doctor’s appointment unrelated to my weight. When the nurse called my name, I asked if we could skip the scale. I was aware of my weight gain and didn’t want to confront it that day. Upon seeing my doctor, she never even mentioned my weight. When I brought it up, she gently told me to stop explaining myself. She reassured me that my health was what mattered, not my weight. With three kids and a year spent at home, she emphasized focusing on my overall well-being rather than fixating on my weight. This perspective reinforces the idea that accepting changes in our bodies during extraordinary times is not just wise—it’s essential.
If you’ve also gained some weight during the pandemic, know that you’re not alone—and you deserve to show yourself kindness. Embracing your body as a dynamic, living entity that adapts to life’s circumstances can be liberating. Your changing body is a testament to your resilience. Gaining weight is not a sign of failure; it simply means you’ve nourished yourself during a challenging period. Many cherished individuals have been lost to this virus, but you are still here. It’s perfectly fine if you carry a bit more of yourself than you did a year ago. I am grateful to acknowledge that it’s okay for me to have a little more of myself too.
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Search Queries:
- How to cope with weight gain during COVID
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In summary, I learned that gaining weight during quarantine taught me invaluable lessons about self-worth and body acceptance. It’s essential to recognize that our bodies are dynamic and deserve respect, no matter their size.