“You’re just 300 pounds of chewed gum wrapped in skin.”
“Diabetes looks good on you.”
“Perfect poster for birth control.”
“Oink, oink.”
“Vulgar and utterly revolting.”
These are just a few of the hurtful remarks I received from a horde of fat-shaming men targeting me online last month. Despite having no knowledge of who I am, they flocked to a Facebook post I shared that surprisingly gained traction. Unfortunately, my image and words were circulated without my consent, and not in a flattering light.
In the photo, I intentionally revealed my postpartum belly, proudly displaying it. With my middle fingers raised, I signaled my defiance against diet culture. In the accompanying caption, I addressed various social injustices that have worsened during the current global crisis, including ageism, fatphobia, classism, LGBTQ+ discrimination, racism, and the bullying tactics employed by our leaders. My strong language conveyed my outrage at these issues.
Having been an advocate for body acceptance online for a few years, I’ve grown accustomed to the occasional harsh comment. However, the vitriol from these men was on another level. On public pages like “The Outspoken Media,” “Soy Boy,” and “The Notorious Bigot,” a group of unstable men not only criticized my appearance but also condemned me for speaking out against systemic oppression. Their actions stem from a place of insecurity, where they feel emboldened to express hatred.
If it had only been a single instance of trolling, I might have brushed it off. However, one particular individual escalated the harassment. He sent me unsolicited explicit images, threatened my family’s safety, and repeatedly posted on various forums about me. Using multiple Facebook profiles, he commented on my photos with grotesque images. The most alarming moment was when he referred to himself as the “Christ of 4chan,” which led me to a disturbing discovery about the platform.
In my research, I learned that 4chan is a public forum where anonymity breeds harmful behavior. It has been linked to severe instances of cyberbullying, including the case of Jessi Slaughter, who faced relentless harassment and suicidal thoughts as a result. Members of this site have instigated dangerous trends and made threats that have real-world consequences.
Recognizing the potential danger I faced, I took immediate steps to protect myself. I blocked the bullies, temporarily deactivated my public Facebook account, and enhanced the privacy settings on my personal profile. Although this reduced the harassment, I remain vigilant, aware that this may not be the last time I face such hostility for living authentically.
The reality is that my identity encompasses many facets that make me a target for online abuse. I navigate life in a fat body, as an openly bisexual woman, and I refuse to shy away from advocating for social justice. This isn’t the first time I’ve been bullied for my appearance, sexual orientation, or beliefs, nor will it be the last. As a young girl, I endured body shaming that led to an eating disorder and a diet pill addiction. I faced verbal abuse when coming out in college and dealt with constant pressure to conform to societal standards while experiencing harassment in the entertainment industry.
The difference between then and now is significant. I have rebuilt my relationship with my body, embraced my identity within the LGBTQ+ community, and used my voice to foster positive change. I refuse to let cowardly men dim my light or limit my space. While I may adapt my methods of expression, I will not lessen my message for anyone. This backlash only reinforces the importance of what I have to say.
This experience has illuminated that self-loathing individuals will lash out at what they can’t comprehend. They’ll hurl insults if your existence makes them uncomfortable, even if your words uplift others. Most importantly, it reminds us that fatphobia remains pervasive, impacting not just adults but also our youth. If I’m facing such negativity, I can only imagine the bullying children endure online. I feel compelled to advocate for them, as well as the younger version of myself who was too afraid to embrace her true self. They need to see role models who can demonstrate a world free from bullying.
To conclude, here’s a powerful lyric from my favorite anthem, “This is Me,” from “The Greatest Showman”:
“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out, I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me.”
My daughter and I often sing this song during our dance parties at home, and she loves it when I confidently shake my body. Because I finally don’t care. I refuse to be affected by cruel comments about my appearance, and I will continue to live joyfully in my body. I won’t let anyone silence me when I speak out against racism or other forms of oppression. I will continue to show up, be visible, and keep negativity at bay while I do the important work I am meant to do. This is me, and I am truly remarkable.
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Summary:
In the face of online fat-shaming and harassment from numerous men, I stand firm in my advocacy for body acceptance and social justice. My journey has taught me resilience, and I refuse to let hatred define my existence. This experience highlights the ongoing societal issues of fatphobia and bullying, especially concerning the younger generation. I remain committed to being a role model and using my voice to inspire change.